Episode 5 - Adventures Above and Below the Waves Transcript

 

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[VDM Logo Music]
Quack-Quack Hiss

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Venomous Duck Media presents,
Gareth and the Lost Island.

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Episode 5 - Adventures
Above and Below the Waves

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Disclaimer: This audio drama
should be considered rated

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PG-13 for discussions
of sexual hijinks,

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drinking, consuming
questionable potions,

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brief moments of violence,
crude language,

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and even cruder humor.
Please use caution

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when listening in public, as
this story may cause audible

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Laughter. Venomous Duck Media
is not liable for any strained

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abdominal muscles you may
receive while listening, or

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the strange looks you might
get from other commuters.

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If laughter persists for more
than four hours,

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Seek immediate
medical attention.

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[Theme]

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[engine hum]
ELIZABETH: Pilot, I’m here to

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relieve you so you can get
some lunch. I’ve eaten better

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in the past two weeks with our
new chef than I have in years.

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Henry made a fantastic
Broccoli casserole that I had

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to stop myself at two servings
to make sure there was enough

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for you. That was never a
problem with Egite’s cooking.

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PILOT: I was under the
impression that you hated

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all green vegetables, Captain.
ELIZABETH: (chuckle) I do.

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If I didn’t know that Chims
couldn’t be wizards, I would

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accuse Henry of using some
sort of spell craft to keep

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turning out one amazing
meal after another.

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PILOT: In that case, I thank
you Captain of the Glorious

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Dawn, for relieving me for
lunch…and saving some

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of the food for me. Let me
double check our heading,

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and I’ll… [grunt]
[engine hum stops]

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ELIZABETH: Are you all
right, Pilot?

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PILOT: I am unharmed,
Captain.

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[footsteps up the stairs]
TRALNIS: Captain, what’s

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happening? Why did we
stop so suddenly?

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[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
What he said.

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ELIZABETH: Not now, Doctor!
Pilot, hand me that spy glass.

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GARETH: Captain, what are
you looking for?

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ELIZABETH: Pirates!
TRALNIS: I’m not a

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student of airship tactics,
but wouldn’t it be better

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to be moving if we were
being chased by pirates?

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ELIZABETH: Yes, Doctor,
moving would be a really good

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idea right about now, but we
can’t. Somehow, they managed

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to slip a Leysapper under
us without us seeing them.

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TRALNIS: What the hells
is a Leysapper?

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PILOT: Short passenger, who
is also our doctor, a Leysapper

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is a small dirigible pirates use
when attacking Leyships. They

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are equipped with special
divining rods that disrupt the

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magic flowing from a Leyline.
Once the Leyship is fully

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disabled, the main pirate
ship moves in for the kill.

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ELIZABETH: There! Bastards
painted their gas sack and hull

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the same blue as the sea!
Looks like they’re about 200

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feet below us.
GARETH: What about our cannon?

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Can’t we shoot the sapper
below us, or the main pirate

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ship when it gets here?
PILOT: The Leysapper is

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directly below us. There is no
way we can depress the barrel

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of the cannon low enough to
get a shot. As for the larger

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dirigible the pirates are most
likely using, they will send

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out a swarm of two man
‘minnows’ to take control

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and neutralize any defenses
before they risk their main

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ship. The only thing our canon
is actually good for is scaring

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away the occasional dragon.
GARETH: What are minnows?

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PILOT: I have heard the
engineer of the Glorious Dawn

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describe a minnow as the
result of a drunken one-night

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stand between a dirigible and
a bicycle. The pirate steering

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the craft is responsible for
pedaling to turn their

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propellers. The other pirate
will either be stationed on a

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platform, ready to jump onto
the enemy airship, or belted

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into a seat so they can act as
snipers to soften up the

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resistance they see on deck.
ELIZABETH: Since we know the

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pirates are using camouflage,
we have a better idea of what

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to look for to find the rest
of their forces. There they are! I

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count 12 minnows coming in
fast. They’ll be on us in less

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than ten minutes. Mintel, go
see if you can help Izzy eke

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out any more power
from the batteries.

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GARETH: You got it, Captain.
ELIZABETH: Doctor… Henry,

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we’ll need you on deck
to help repel boarders.

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TRALNIS: Henry,
you heard the captain,

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go fetch my
fighting gloves.

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[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
At once, sir.

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[footsteps down stairs, short
pause, footsteps up the stairs]

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ELIZABETH: Doctor, just to
make sure I’m not

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hallucinating, is your butler
wearing a pot on his head

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and holding a cast iron
Frying pan. At least he

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brought two pistols
and your fighting Gloves.

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TRALNIS: I wouldn’t disparage
“Mr. Smashy” around Henry.

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He’s rather fond of that frying
pan. What I want to know is

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why he brought my boxing
gloves when I specifically

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asked for my fighting gloves.
Never mind, I’ll find them

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myself. Excuse me, Captain.
[footsteps down stairs]

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PILOT: Captain, the minnows
will be within firing range any

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second now.
[two gunshots]

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PILOT: Perhaps sooner.
ELIZABETH: Thank the mythical

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gods their snipers can’t shoot
straight. They somehow managed

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to miss a big assed target
like the Glorious Dawn.

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[two gunshots, glass breaking]
PILOT: Or, the snipers could

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have been zeroing
in their sights.

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ELIZABETH: Thank you, Pilot.
PILOT: You’re welcome,

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Captain. By the way, the
amazing chef is trying to get

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our attention. It appears as
though he is pointing to the

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pistols tucked into his kilt, and
then up towards the crow’s nest.

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ELIZABETH: Do it, Henry! Give them
a taste of their own medicine.

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[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Time to show them what an ape

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with two boom sticks can do.
[scampering up mast]

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[cocking pistol, gunshot]
NARRATOR: The sniper on the

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closest minnow dropped his
rifle to clutch at his chest.

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Blood welled from beneath the pirate’s fingers,
and he soon

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slumped over in his seat.
[death rattle of pirate]

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[ape noises] TRANSLATOR: Huh,
sights are a bit off. I was

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aiming for the gas sack.
[cock pistol, gunshot, explosion]

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[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
I love explosions.

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PIRATE 1: Leeroy Jenk… oof!
PIRATE 2: Idiot always jumps

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too early. At least he managed
to grab a handhold on the side

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of that freighter. Okay boys,
wait for it… now jump!

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[pirates landing on the deck]
ELIZABETH: Time for a lead

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ball welcome, you assholes.
[pistol cock, grunt]

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[pistols sliding along deck]
ELIZABETH: My gun!

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You pirate prick!
You shoved me from behind!

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PIRATE 3: Gah! What
happened to your face?!

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[mechanical arm
winding up, punching]

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ELIZABETH: That’s for my gun.
[sword being drawn]

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[pirate run through, grunt]
ELIZABETH: That’s for

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criticizing a woman’s looks.
Pilot, behind you!

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[quills rattle, blow gun noise]
Pirate 4: [grunt of surprise]

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[body hits deck]
PILOT: Thank you for the

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warning, Captain of
the Glorious Dawn.

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[steam piston hiss, smack,
pirate scream, bones breaking]

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TRALNIS: Don’t worry, I’ll fix
those ribs up later if you want.

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[steam piston hiss, smack, pirate scream,
bones breaking]

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TRALNIS: Don’t worry, I can
fix those too!

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PILOT: Interesting. It isn’t
everyday you see a Dwarf

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in a steam
powered exoskeleton.

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ELIZABETH: Doctor, why are you
offering to help these scumbags?!

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TRALNIS: It’s the only way I
can get around my oath as a

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healer to do no harm. As long
as I offer to fix what I broke,

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it all equals out in the end.
ELIZABETH: Whatever helps

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you sleeps at night, Doctor.
I just hope you can kill one

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of these assholes
if you need to.

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TRALNIS: Dammit Captain, I’m
a doctor, not an executioner!

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NARRATOR: A pirate wearing a
shirt made of flowing red silk

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accidentally stepped in
between Tralnis and

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another pirate who had
Managed to pick up

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Elizabeth’s lost revolver.
[Pistol shot]

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[ape noises] TRANSLATOR: Tralnis!
Here I come to save the day!

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[rope swinging, land on deck
slide, metal strike, squish]

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PIRATE 2: [high pitched]
Right in me pirate privates!

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TRALNIS, PILOT, Pirates:
Ooooh!

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TRALNIS: Henry! The actions
of one’s manservant reflect

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directly upon the gentleman
who employs him, and a

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gentleman does NOT scramble
 scrotums with a skillet!

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[scene change music]

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[engine whine]
GARETH: I wish there was

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something more that I could do
to help Izzy instead of just

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standing here. Why am I
talking out loud? Neither Izzy

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or I can hear each other thanks
to the earmuffs we’re wearing.

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Izzy’s looking really hot,
both figuratively and literally.

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She’s pouring sweat. At least
I can help with that, I’ll pour

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her a drink from the pitcher
on the table.

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[drink pouring]

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GARETH: (Yelling)
Izzy, here, drink this.

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IZZY: What?! Something
to drink. Thanks, Gareth.

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[takes large gulp, spit take]
IZZY: Oh gross, that must

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have been the coffee I keep
forgetting to toss out. It’s

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been down here since before
we left Pigshit!

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GARETH: I can’t tell what
you’re saying, but by your

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reaction, I’m guessing there is something
wrong with this drink.

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[sniff, retching]
GARETH: If coffee could die,

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and then somehow be resurrected
as a zombie, this is what its

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ass would smell like. Need air!
[running footsteps]

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[deep breath]
GARETH: Now to dispose of that

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cousin to what Henry found
in the icebox.

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PIRATE 1: An open window!
Thank the gods and their

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wizards! Now I just need to
climb a few feet to get to it.

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[grunts as he climbs]
PIRATE !: Yes! I’m saved!

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00:09:59,115 --> 00:10:02,959
That’s right, missy. You have
every reason to be afraid

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00:10:02,959 --> 00:10:06,250
once you’ve seen me.
[splash]

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PIRATE 1: What the hells did
they just throw in my face?!

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It smells like something
siphoned out of a demon's

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latrine! I have to wipe it
out of my eyes and off my face.

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00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:24,040
Ahh, there. Oh wait, oops.
[wilhelm scream, large splash]

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[large wood impacts]
GARETH:mNow what ?! Izzy, I’m

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going topside to see
what is going on.

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[running up stairs, end engine whine, open
door, crunch of nose breaking]

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PIRATE 2: My nose! Whoa!
[spash]

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00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:52,290
GARETH: Huh, what was that?
Oh well, it doesn’t matter. What

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does matter are those harpoons 
attached to ropes buried in the

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deck. Pirates are queuing up
to slide down the ropes from the

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main pirate airship above us.
If any more come down, we'll be

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00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:09,790
overwhelmed. Think, Gareth,
think. I got it! The only thing

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00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:13,000
I recognized in Izzy’s engine
room was the Dwarvish rune for

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00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,430
power. I bet if I cut power from
the batteries, we’ll drop and

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00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:20,350
yank out the harpoons.
I’ll just need to be fast,

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00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:23,398
and turn it back on
before we fall too far.

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00:11:23,398 --> 00:11:26,498
[running down stairs,
engine whine]

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00:11:26,498 --> 00:11:30,863
IZZY: Gareth? What are you
doing? NO! Don’t flip that switch!

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00:11:30,863 --> 00:11:32,896
[switch flipped, Izzy and 
Gareth yell as they fall

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00:11:32,896 --> 00:11:36,790
GARETH: That’s weird. Why
did we stop falling so soon?

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00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:40,062
IZZY: We must have landed on
the Leysapper’s gas sack.

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00:11:40,062 --> 00:11:43,028
Quick, throw the switch again
before their gas sack…

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[pop, switch flipped, normal
hum of engine room]

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IZZY: Gareth! I don’t know
if I want to kill you, or kiss

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you for pulling a
stunt like that.

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00:11:49,850 --> 00:11:52,260
GARETH: I know which
one I vote for.

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00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:57,550
IZZY: What was that?
GARETH: Oh,nothing. Let’s go

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topside and see if we won.
[footsteps up the stairs]

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GARETH: Huh, I thought that
would’ve yanked the harpoons

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00:12:03,910 --> 00:12:06,410
out of our deck, not rip them
from their moorings on the

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00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:10,839
pirate ship. Wow, that much
force snapped all of the lines

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00:12:10,839 --> 00:12:13,920
connecting their hull to their
gas sack on one side. I guess

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00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,688
I guess they won't be a
problem now, since 

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00:12:15,688 --> 00:12:18,087
since their whole airship is
hanging sideways from one

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00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:21,269
set of cables. I’m surprised
the ones on the other side

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00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:28,959
could take all that strain.
[snap, splash]

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00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:34,850
GARETH: Or maybe they couldn’t.
I wonder if I can see the

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00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:36,980
pirate airships in the ocean.
[footsteps]

215
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:39,730
GARETH: Hey, Tralnis, come
over here to the railing.

216
00:12:39,730 --> 00:12:42,350
It looks like some of the
pirates survived the fall and

217
00:12:42,350 --> 00:12:44,779
are swimming towards the
floating pieces of the wreckage.

218
00:12:44,779 --> 00:12:48,110
TRALNIS: Fine, but I reserve
the right to scream and run

219
00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:54,040
away if I get too frightened
from seeing so much water.

220
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,779
They look like tiny
dolls floating around.

221
00:12:56,779 --> 00:13:00,112
Um, what’s that?

222
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,000
GARETH: What’s what?

223
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:06,190
TRALNIS: That huge dark shape
circling the wreckage. Oh,

224
00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:10,029
never mind, it’s gone now.
It looked like it was at least

225
00:13:10,029 --> 00:13:13,139
four times as big as that
larger airship down there.

226
00:13:13,139 --> 00:13:20,050
[ships crunching, large splash as leviathan
falls back into the water]

227
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:26,220
GARETH: That is one big fish.
TRALNIS: Gareth, you know how

228
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:28,899
I said I would make the dive
with you when we reached

229
00:13:28,899 --> 00:13:32,389
the dig site?
I’ve changed my mind!

230
00:13:32,389 --> 00:13:37,638
[scene change music]

231
00:13:37,638 --> 00:13:40,640
PILOT: Captain of the Glorious
Dawn, we are above the

232
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,190
coordinates ‘the passenger who
almost got us killed in an

233
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,740
undergarment soiling
fall’ gave us.

234
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,560
ELIZABETH: Speak for yourself,
I made the mistake of going

235
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:52,510
commando that day. Wonderful,
now I’m oversharing like that

236
00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:57,810
catastrophe masquerading as
a human. I’ll go let the others

237
00:13:57,810 --> 00:14:01,339
know that we’ve arrived and
help Izzy into a dive suit.

238
00:14:01,339 --> 00:14:04,180
Bring us down until we’re
just above the water.

239
00:14:04,180 --> 00:14:07,850
I still can’t believe Izzy
volunteered to help that idiot.

240
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:10,079
PILOT: Her reasons are truly
a complete mystery.

241
00:14:10,079 --> 00:14:13,880
ELIZABETH: I know, right?
[footsteps walking away]

242
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,440
PILOT: And people
say I have difficulty

243
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,120
interpreting social cues.
[footsteps down stairs]

244
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,399
ELIZABETH: We’re above the
drop point. Sheldon, lower

245
00:14:21,399 --> 00:14:24,170
the loading ramp.
SHELDON LEFT EYE: Eye, eye,

246
00:14:24,170 --> 00:14:27,949
Captain. Get it, ‘cause
we’re eye stalks. Waiting

247
00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:30,699
for laughter… still
nothing? Sheesh.

248
00:14:30,699 --> 00:14:35,660
SHELDON RIGHT EYE: Lowering
ramp now, Captain, and for

249
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:41,190
the record, 2 of the 3 of us
think he’s an idiot too.

250
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:45,290
[winch lowering, splash]
TRALNIS: Thanks again for

251
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:46,920
volunteering to take my place

252
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,930
on this dive, Izzy. I feel
like I’m letting Gareth down,

253
00:14:50,930 --> 00:14:54,040
but I freeze up every time I
even think about surrounding

254
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,910
myself with that much wet death.
IZZY: Don’t worry about it,

255
00:14:57,910 --> 00:15:00,389
Tralnis. You would have barely
been able to move anyway with

256
00:15:00,389 --> 00:15:03,779
all of the modifications
needed for the suit to fit you.

257
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:07,540
TRALNIS: Yeah, we didn’t
think of that we sto… borrowed

258
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:11,139
the suits. Not like we could
have found one made to fit a

259
00:15:11,139 --> 00:15:14,410
Dwarf in the first place. My
people have too much

260
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:17,009
common sense.
IZZY: Don’t worry, Tralnis,

261
00:15:17,009 --> 00:15:18,990
I’ll keep your boy
safe down there.

262
00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:22,080
TRALNIS: Thank you, lass.
IZZY: Looks like Gareth has

263
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,010
his helmet on. I better hurry
so he can get into the water

264
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:31,459
to activate his breathing tubes.
ELIZABETH: I’ll help you, Izzy.

265
00:15:31,459 --> 00:15:34,870
[helmet closing, two splashes]

266
00:15:34,870 --> 00:15:45,339
GARETH: Can you hear me okay?
IZZY: Uh… yeah, I can, but you

267
00:15:45,339 --> 00:15:48,610
sound a little muffled.
GARETH: They were still

268
00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:51,779
working out the kinks in the
sound cable when we grabbed

269
00:15:51,779 --> 00:15:54,050
the suits. It works along the
same principle as running

270
00:15:54,050 --> 00:15:57,589
a string between two tin cans.
IZZY: How does that work?

271
00:15:57,589 --> 00:15:59,950
When Elizabeth and I were
little girls, we played that

272
00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:04,850
game with the cans. I thought
the string, or cable in this

273
00:16:04,850 --> 00:16:07,389
case, had to be strung tight
between the two ends to

274
00:16:07,389 --> 00:16:10,460
transmit sound. This cable
has lots of slack.

275
00:16:10,460 --> 00:16:13,279
GARETH: Let’s just say it’s
a good thing the priest who

276
00:16:13,279 --> 00:16:16,029
inspected our gear didn’t
unscrew the housing to the

277
00:16:16,029 --> 00:16:19,121
connector fittings. If they
had, I would have had to

278
00:16:19,121 --> 00:16:21,839
explain why there were small
energy converting runes

279
00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:25,149
engraved into the ends of the cable.
IZZY: There are two cables

280
00:16:25,149 --> 00:16:28,800
bundled together, aren’t there?
You would need one in each

281
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,779
direction with reversed runes
at the opposite ends for it to

282
00:16:32,779 --> 00:16:35,399
work correctly.
GARETH: Very good, Izzy. I’m

283
00:16:35,399 --> 00:16:39,339
impressed. You’re right, we
use two cables.Before I left,

284
00:16:39,339 --> 00:16:41,870
the Applied Magics gents and
I were experimenting with

285
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,860
which runes worked the best.
That’s why our voices sound

286
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:48,459
muffled. We haven’t quite
found the right combination

287
00:16:48,459 --> 00:16:56,000
of…runes and cable material.
IZZY:Gareth, if you keep

288
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,850
turning like that, you’re
going to wrap yourself

289
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,970
up in the cable.
GARETH: Sorry. I keep seeing

290
00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:04,150
something out of the corner of
my eye. A large something with

291
00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:07,110
far too many teeth for my
liking. Whenever I turn to get

292
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:10,260
a better look at it, it darts
off. It looks like the lights

293
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,980
are keeping it away, so I
don’t think we have to worry

294
00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:15,329
too much about it.
IZZY: After watching that

295
00:17:15,329 --> 00:17:19,730
leviathan eat the Leysapper,
I’m not as confident. Float

296
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:22,320
over here so we can touch
suits, back-to-back.

297
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,900
GARETH: Good plan.
Better safe than sorry.

298
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:28,390
IZZY: Other than a city that
was submerged in a terrible

299
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:31,280
earthquake, what exactly
are we looking for?

300
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:35,289
GARETH: To be perfectly
honest, I’m not really sure.

301
00:17:35,289 --> 00:17:38,090
The first tablet was found in
a ruined temple deep in the

302
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:41,000
plains of the Southern
Continent. I’m hoping we can

303
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,080
find a similar building, and
start our search from there.

304
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,550
IZZY: You mean something
like a stepped pyramid?

305
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:49,750
GARETH: Yes,
something like that.

306
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:53,190
IZZY: Look over here,
and down about 20 degrees.

307
00:17:53,190 --> 00:17:56,120
GARETH: Good eyes, Izzy.
That’s exactly where we

308
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,530
should start looking.
IZZY: Oh no, we’re facing

309
00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:03,350
the same direction. Gareth,
remember that thing you were

310
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,580
trying to see that
kept swimming away?

311
00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:08,410
GARETH: Yeah. Why?
IZZY: Now would be a good

312
00:18:08,410 --> 00:18:17,210
time to speed up our descent.
GARETH: Looking at an angry

313
00:18:17,210 --> 00:18:21,110
eye bigger than my helmet and
close enough to touch, makes

314
00:18:21,110 --> 00:18:26,170
part of my mind very proud of
you, Izzy, for staying so calm.

315
00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:29,760
Another small part of my mind
is suggesting I scream, void

316
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:34,980
my bladder, and curl up into
a terrified ball. I am trying

317
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,520
to use what parts are
Leftover to come up

318
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,270
with a way to
get us out of this.

319
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:42,740
IZZY: Thanks. Now work
Quicker before we’re eaten,

320
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:45,130
because I’m out of ideas.
GARETH: Okay, I think I’ve

321
00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:48,429
got it. There is an emergency
valve on the right side of your

322
00:18:48,429 --> 00:18:51,370
belt. If we turn them all the
way counterclockwise, it will

323
00:18:51,370 --> 00:18:55,150
flood our ballast pouches and
we’ll sink like rocks. We just

324
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:58,850
need to make sure we turn the
valves at the same time so we

325
00:18:58,850 --> 00:19:00,860
don’t get separated and
snap the communication cable

326
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:05,860
IZZY: On the count of three?
GARETH: On three. One… two…

327
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:10,100
IZZY: THREE!!
GARETH: Izzy, swim towards

328
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:13,809
that opening at the top of the
temple. It’s stone and looks

329
00:19:13,809 --> 00:19:19,419
too small for our new friend
to fit through.

330
00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:24,470
IZZY: Whew, we made it!
GARETH: Duck!

331
00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:28,679
GARETH: It looks like that
thing left for now.

332
00:19:28,679 --> 00:19:32,360
IZZY: I’ve got to hand it to
you, Professor, this is

333
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,730
definitely the least boring
first date I’ve been on.

334
00:19:34,730 --> 00:19:36,867
GARETH: Sorry, I think my
helmet got hit by a rock.

335
00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:39,567
I’m getting some feedback
on my end of the cable.

336
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:43,899
What did you say?
IZZY: Uh... Nothing, you must

337
00:19:43,899 --> 00:19:46,165
be hearing things. Come on,

338
00:19:46,165 --> 00:19:48,598
let’s explore this temple and
give our fishy friend time to

339
00:19:48,598 --> 00:19:53,530
lose interest in us.
[swimming]

340
00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:59,340
GARETH: Izzy, hold up for a
minute. My light just reflected

341
00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:01,530
off something in this
room off to our left.

342
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:06,770
IZZY: What did you find? Oh
wow! There have to be hundreds

343
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:10,159
of these tiny metal statues.
GARETH: This one even has a

344
00:20:10,159 --> 00:20:13,330
tiny removable sword in its
hand. Open your sack, and we’ll

345
00:20:13,330 --> 00:20:16,400
put as many of these
statues into it as we can.

346
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,520
IZZY: After that
should we head back up?

347
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,110
GARETH: Not quite yet. I want
to see what’s at the heart

348
00:20:21,110 --> 00:20:24,030
of this pyramid.
IZZY: Lead on.

349
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:27,741
[swimming]
IZZY: Huh, I don’t know what

350
00:20:27,741 --> 00:20:31,010
I was expecting to find at the
heart of this pyramid, but a

351
00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:34,049
room ringed with statues and
a black stone altar in the

352
00:20:34,049 --> 00:20:37,500
center sure wasn’t it. The
skeletons scattered around

353
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,840
the floor add a nice, creepy
feel. Maybe I should decorate

354
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:45,330
my cabin this way? Gareth,
Are you listening to me? Why

355
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:48,500
are you staring at that statue
with the strange armor and

356
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:53,999
black rod in its hand. Weird,
they look human, but have ears

357
00:20:53,999 --> 00:20:56,940
that point up instead
back like an elf’s.

358
00:20:56,940 --> 00:21:00,990
Gareth! Snap out of it.
GARETH: What? Oh, sorry.

359
00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:03,240
IZZY: Here,
[stone sliding]

360
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:04,783
IZZY: you can keep the rod as
a remembrance of

361
00:21:04,783 --> 00:21:09,850
your time together.
GARETH: Yeah, sure. Thanks.

362
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:12,980
IZZY: Come on, let’s go
Check out that altar.

363
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:17,370
[swimming]
IZZY: Well, that’s underwhelming.

364
00:21:17,370 --> 00:21:19,913
Nothing here but a
stupid clay tablet.

365
00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:22,890
GARETH: I don’t think so,
Izzy. First off, that clay

366
00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:25,690
tablet is just like the one
that housed the metal tablet

367
00:21:25,690 --> 00:21:31,080
that I showed you. Secondly,
why would someone go to such

368
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:36,340
great lengths to set up a
trap over something worthless.

369
00:21:36,340 --> 00:21:42,090
IZZY:Trap?! What trap?!
GARETH: The one we set off by

370
00:21:42,090 --> 00:21:47,480
coming in here. Let me put the
tablet into my sack, and then

371
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:52,140
let’s turn around slowly.
IZZY: Okay, everything looks

372
00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:56,400
the same to me – lots of water,
stone statues, and skeletons

373
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,750
on the floor.
GARETH: How many skeletons

374
00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:00,400
do you count?
IZZY: One, two, three,

375
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:04,804
four, Five.
GARETH: Damn. I was hoping I

376
00:22:04,804 --> 00:22:08,190
had miscounted. There were
only three when we entered

377
00:22:08,190 --> 00:22:11,169
the room. And now the
skeletons are standing up

378
00:22:11,169 --> 00:22:15,730
and they have swords in their
hands. Sometimes I hate

379
00:22:15,730 --> 00:22:18,669
it when I’m right.
IZZY:If you skinny bitches

380
00:22:18,669 --> 00:22:20,799
think we’re going down
without a fight, your skulls

381
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:23,539
are emptier than they look.
[slow swish through water]

382
00:22:23,539 --> 00:22:27,840
IZZY: Well, punching them did
absolutely nothing. Did I say

383
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,230
skinny bitches? I meant that
those bleached bones are

384
00:22:30,230 --> 00:22:34,029
really thinning. It’s a good
look for you. Oh crap.

385
00:22:34,029 --> 00:22:36,539
[sword clang]
GARETH: No one hurts Izzy

386
00:22:36,539 --> 00:22:39,570
when I’m around.
IZZY: Well, now we know that

387
00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:41,022
whatever that rod is
made from is as at

388
00:22:41,022 --> 00:22:43,510
least as strong as steel.
[crack, magic noise]

389
00:22:43,510 --> 00:22:47,400
IZZY: And it works on skeletons.
It knocked the hand holding the

390
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,180
sword clean off.
[crack]

391
00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:52,820
GARETH: Separated its head
from the rest of the body just

392
00:22:52,820 --> 00:22:56,350
as easily. Take its sword while
I put the skull in my sack.

393
00:22:56,350 --> 00:22:58,289
Tralnis will want to study it
later. I just have to be

394
00:22:58,289 --> 00:23:01,120
careful since its jaws are
still clacking like mad.

395
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:04,659
IZZY: Will do, and I’m taking
its femur as an off hand weapon

396
00:23:04,659 --> 00:23:08,460
just because I know it will piss
it off. Okay, now that I’m armed

397
00:23:08,460 --> 00:23:11,091
as well, we’re back to y’all
being skinny bitches. Hee-yah!

398
00:23:11,091 --> 00:23:18,300
IZZY: That is totally not fair!
Your bones just reconnected

399
00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:21,430
instead of floating away like
the ones that Gareth hits. Why

400
00:23:21,430 --> 00:23:25,311
are you rubbing your hands
under your eye sockets like

401
00:23:25,311 --> 00:23:30,849
you’re crying? Are you mocking
me? You are, aren’t you? Here,

402
00:23:30,849 --> 00:23:34,100
have an extra bone in your
extremely underweight face.

403
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:35,470
[crunch]
[xylophone sound]

404
00:23:35,470 --> 00:23:39,190
IZZY: Yeah, somehow I don’t
think taking off your own skull

405
00:23:39,190 --> 00:23:41,470
to stand on won’t really
work out for you.

406
00:23:41,470 --> 00:23:46,500
GARETH: This is pretty
interesting. Whichever bone I

407
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:49,880
touch with this rod immediately
separates from the others, even

408
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,049
if I strike several in a row.
[startled yelp]

409
00:23:52,049 --> 00:23:54,250
IZZY: Gareth! You’ve been
stabbed through the leg!

410
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:58,040
GARETH: I’m okay. It tried to
go for my femoral artery. The

411
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,720
bulkiness of the suit must have
thrown off its aim. That doesn’t

412
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:04,400
mean I’m not pissed off though.
How about an equally low blow?

413
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,679
[crack, magic sound,
bowling pins going down]

414
00:24:07,679 --> 00:24:11,600
Note to self, using the rod to
strike to the groin of a skeleton

415
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,750
will disconnect all 206 bones
in its body at the same time.

416
00:24:15,750 --> 00:24:17,990
[pained yelp]
IZZY: I thought you said

417
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:20,420
it didn’t hurt you?
GARETH: Sorry, that sound was

418
00:24:20,420 --> 00:24:22,360
the noise every guy will make

419
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,140
when ice water comes into
contact with a certain part of

420
00:24:25,140 --> 00:24:29,090
their anatomy. Desiccated
Dwarf Danglies, that water’s

421
00:24:29,090 --> 00:24:33,940
cold! Wait! Where is the last
skeleton? We only took down four.

422
00:24:33,940 --> 00:24:37,000
IZZY: I think after seeing us
take apart its compatriots,

423
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:42,190
it’s pretending to be deader
than it already is. I saw it

424
00:24:42,190 --> 00:24:45,990
doing a dead man float through
the door at the end of the room.

425
00:24:45,990 --> 00:24:49,038
GARETH: That’s good, because
I’m starting to lose feeling in

426
00:24:49,038 --> 00:24:54,340
my legs. In fact, I don’t think
I can move them at all.

427
00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:57,640
IZZY: Don’t worry, I’ll wrap my
arms around you and kick for

428
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:02,190
both of us. We’ll be at the
surface before you know it.

429
00:25:02,190 --> 00:25:06,240
[scene change music]

430
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:10,169
ELIZABETH: You were nearly
killed a couple of times for this

431
00:25:10,169 --> 00:25:13,960
stupid clay tablet?!
IZZY: Well, yes, but

432
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,320
we also got these.
[dumps figurines on table]

433
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,720
ELIZABETH: At least we should
be able to get a decent price

434
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:23,390
for those tiny statues. The
only people interested in a

435
00:25:23,390 --> 00:25:27,330
clay tablet would be scholars,
and no offense Professor, but

436
00:25:27,330 --> 00:25:29,970
your kind aren’t known
for their large fortunes.

437
00:25:29,970 --> 00:25:33,789
GARETH: None taken.
TRALNIS: So, Gareth,

438
00:25:33,789 --> 00:25:36,500
does this tablet say the
same thing as the last one?

439
00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:39,150
GARETH: Yep, ‘break to open’.
[tablet smashing]

440
00:25:39,150 --> 00:25:41,770
ELIZABETH: What
in the hells is that?

441
00:25:41,770 --> 00:25:45,160
TRALNIS: Directions to the
next dig site. Where are we

442
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,720
going next, Gareth?
GARETH: Let me check my

443
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,093
notes and the map we brought.
[scroll unrolls]

444
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:55,859
GARETH: Looks like
we’ll be headed to Chimia.

445
00:25:55,859 --> 00:25:59,120
TRALNIS: We’ll need to pick
up some supplies first so I can

446
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:01,990
whip up some bug repellent.
From what I’ve read, the

447
00:26:01,990 --> 00:26:04,990
jungles of Chimia are home to
more species of the little

448
00:26:04,990 --> 00:26:07,120
blighters than anywhere
else on the planet.

449
00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:10,049
ELIZABETH: Wait just one
blasted minute! Who said

450
00:26:10,049 --> 00:26:14,529
anything about taking you
lot anywhere?! You paid us

451
00:26:14,529 --> 00:26:18,480
to take you to the archaeology
site and stand by while you did

452
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,500
whatever you scholars do. We
never agreed to join you on some

453
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:26,230
bloody scavenger hunt across
Hadronus. Especially one that

454
00:26:26,230 --> 00:26:29,320
puts my crew in danger!
IZZY: Elizabeth…

455
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,610
ELIZABETH: No, Izzy! You
almost got eaten by a giant

456
00:26:32,610 --> 00:26:37,500
fish, crushed by falling debris,
and skewered by a group of

457
00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:40,419
skeletons! After that, you had
to risk your own safety to

458
00:26:40,419 --> 00:26:43,669
literally drag the Professor,
someone who supposedly

459
00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:45,950
knew what he was
doing, to safety.

460
00:26:45,950 --> 00:26:48,940
IZZY: Gareth saved my life
down there as well. I’m an

461
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:51,470
adult now. You had better
start treating me like one!

462
00:26:51,470 --> 00:26:54,200
ELIZABETH: You might be an
adult, but I’m captain of this

463
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:58,360
airship and your older sister.
I would be failing in both

464
00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:02,599
duties if I let you get killed!
TRALNIS: Gareth lad, why don’t

465
00:27:02,599 --> 00:27:05,520
you take the young missy here
out onto deck for some fresh

466
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:09,960
air? As the financial officer
of this expedition, I’ll negotiate

467
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,490
new terms with the captain.
IZZY: That sounds like a very

468
00:27:13,490 --> 00:27:17,080
good idea. As part owner of
The Glorious Dawn, I’ll back

469
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,909
whatever you offer, Tralnis.
If Elizabeth disagrees, we’ll

470
00:27:19,909 --> 00:27:23,419
put it to a vote amongst the
other crew members. If you

471
00:27:23,419 --> 00:27:28,860
need me, Lizard Breath,
I’ll be up on deck.

472
00:27:28,860 --> 00:27:32,940
GARETH: You know, Izzy I
 think seeing you stand up to

473
00:27:32,940 --> 00:27:35,559
Elizabeth is even more
impressive than what you

474
00:27:35,559 --> 00:27:39,789
did on our dive. I don’t mind
telling you that she scares me.

475
00:27:39,789 --> 00:27:42,890
IZZY: It’s the arm.
It scares most people.

476
00:27:42,890 --> 00:27:48,380
GARETH: That’s not it, at least
not all of it. What’s scary is

477
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:52,779
how she’s always glaring at me,
and I get the distinct impression

478
00:27:52,779 --> 00:27:56,230
she wants to ram that
mechanical arm somewhere

479
00:27:56,230 --> 00:27:59,500
I would rather it not go.
IZZY:[chuckle]

480
00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:02,950
GARETH: What was that you
called Elizabeth before we left?

481
00:28:02,950 --> 00:28:07,789
IZZY: I called her Lizard Breath.
When I was very young, my

482
00:28:07,789 --> 00:28:11,970
parents always referred to
my sister as Liz. One day,

483
00:28:11,970 --> 00:28:14,570
I heard them use her full name
when she had gotten in some

484
00:28:14,570 --> 00:28:18,110
really serious trouble. You
know, the type of trouble when

485
00:28:18,110 --> 00:28:21,950
your parents use your first,
middle, and last name.

486
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:25,419
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…
GARETH: It’s okay.

487
00:28:25,419 --> 00:28:29,179
Go on with your story.
IZZY: The point of the story

488
00:28:29,179 --> 00:28:32,539
is that I misheard what my
mother said. I thought she

489
00:28:32,539 --> 00:28:37,120
had said ‘Lizard Breath’
instead of Elizabeth. In my

490
00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:40,450
defense, Liz could just as
easily be a shortened version

491
00:28:40,450 --> 00:28:45,610
of Lizard as Elizabeth. The
next time I got mad at Liz, I

492
00:28:45,610 --> 00:28:48,620
used the same tone as my
mother, and called her Lizard

493
00:28:48,620 --> 00:28:51,539
Breath. Both Mum and Dad
thought it was the funniest

494
00:28:51,539 --> 00:28:54,140
thing they had ever heard.
They used the new name

495
00:28:54,140 --> 00:28:57,320
whenever they wanted to tease
her. I only use it now when I

496
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,210
want Elizabeth to know I’m
really angry with her.

497
00:29:00,210 --> 00:29:02,160
GARETH: Your parents sound
like people I would really

498
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,490
like to get to know.
IZZY:I think they would have

499
00:29:04,490 --> 00:29:09,269
liked you too. My parents ran
a shipping business that they

500
00:29:09,269 --> 00:29:12,620
had grown from a single ship
into a small fleet. They met

501
00:29:12,620 --> 00:29:15,340
when my father was the pilot
and my mother the engineer of

502
00:29:15,340 --> 00:29:19,110
the same airship. They died
when I was 12. A group of

503
00:29:19,110 --> 00:29:22,070
merchants who operated on the
wrong side of the law took

504
00:29:22,070 --> 00:29:24,779
offense at how my parents
refused to either do business

505
00:29:24,779 --> 00:29:28,539
with them, or pay protection
money. In one night, they set

506
00:29:28,539 --> 00:29:32,049
fire to every ship on our business
dock, as well as our home.

507
00:29:32,049 --> 00:29:34,110
GARETH: What
happened after that?

508
00:29:34,110 --> 00:29:37,409
IZZY: The fire spread so fast;
we never had a chance to get

509
00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:40,870
out of our rooms. Smoke was
coming from under my door,

510
00:29:40,870 --> 00:29:44,100
so I opened the secret passage
Father had installed between my

511
00:29:44,100 --> 00:29:48,570
room and Elizabeth’s to see
if she was alright. Her room

512
00:29:48,570 --> 00:29:52,570
was already on fire. I found
Elizabeth trapped under a

513
00:29:52,570 --> 00:29:56,610
burning piece of wall that had
fallen on her. Her spare

514
00:29:56,610 --> 00:30:00,360
blanket was on the floor, so
I used it to smother the flames

515
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,340
on her body. After wrapping
Elizabeth up in the blanket,

516
00:30:04,340 --> 00:30:07,520
I somehow managed to pull her
into my room and shut the

517
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:12,539
secret door behind us. When I
opened my bedroom window, I

518
00:30:12,539 --> 00:30:16,570
saw the grounds had been put
to the torch as well. I went

519
00:30:16,570 --> 00:30:19,720
back to where I had left
Elizabeth, and held her burned

520
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:23,149
face in my hand while I tried
to prepare myself to die.

521
00:30:23,149 --> 00:30:27,450
GARETH: Dear Gods…
IZZY: I had given up when

522
00:30:27,450 --> 00:30:29,250
suddenly I saw the most

523
00:30:29,250 --> 00:30:34,170
beautiful thing ever. The beat
up bow of an airship freighter

524
00:30:34,170 --> 00:30:37,620
was smashing through my wall.
It was a freighter my parents

525
00:30:37,620 --> 00:30:40,420
had been considering
decommissioning. The airship

526
00:30:40,420 --> 00:30:44,210
reversed its course, and
lowered its cargo ramp.

527
00:30:44,210 --> 00:30:47,860
The captain of the ship and
his cargo master ran in,

528
00:30:47,860 --> 00:30:50,950
scooped up me and Elizabeth,
and then got us to safety.

529
00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:54,529
GARETH: How did that ship avoid
being torched with the others?

530
00:30:54,529 --> 00:30:57,110
IZZY: The captain of the
Glorious Dawn had run

531
00:30:57,110 --> 00:31:00,300
into bad weather and was
several hours past due. While

532
00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:02,980
they were still off of the coast,
Captain Dunning could see the

533
00:31:02,980 --> 00:31:06,049
docks ablaze. He had been
friends with both my parents

534
00:31:06,049 --> 00:31:09,799
for many years, so he burned
all of their available Aetherium

535
00:31:09,799 --> 00:31:13,490
ore to get to our home. Once
Dunning got there, he found

536
00:31:13,490 --> 00:31:16,919
the whole house on fire. He had
given up hope when he suddenly

537
00:31:16,919 --> 00:31:21,519
saw me open my window. Dunning
had always been a man of action,

538
00:31:21,519 --> 00:31:23,929
and decided that ramming the
house would be the quickest way

539
00:31:23,929 --> 00:31:27,860
to get me out of that inferno.
He and I used all of my parents’

540
00:31:27,860 --> 00:31:30,350
money to pay for the best
medical attention we could

541
00:31:30,350 --> 00:31:33,320
get for Elizabeth.
GARETH: (thinking) Now I feel

542
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:34,940
guilty for every negative

543
00:31:34,940 --> 00:31:38,010
thought I’ve had
about this old airship.

544
00:31:38,010 --> 00:31:39,131
(outloud) What happened to
Captain Dunning?

545
00:31:39,131 --> 00:31:42,600
IZZY: Dunning retired about
four years ago and made

546
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:46,000
Elizabeth captain. He’s living
on a tropical island with a

547
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,660
native girl he married. We stop
by every now and then to check

548
00:31:49,660 --> 00:31:53,409
on him. Of course, after our
last visit, we’ll give him

549
00:31:53,409 --> 00:31:55,960
warning that we're coming.
It will give them a chance to

550
00:31:55,960 --> 00:32:01,370
put some clothes on. Okay
Professor, enough about my

551
00:32:01,370 --> 00:32:04,059
past. I would like to hear
about what we are actually

552
00:32:04,059 --> 00:32:06,980
doing on this voyage. It’s
obviously more than just

553
00:32:06,980 --> 00:32:09,350
some simple
archaeology expedition.

554
00:32:09,350 --> 00:32:12,940
GARETH: This all started when
there was a disagreement over

555
00:32:12,940 --> 00:32:17,470
me getting my tenure at the
University Arcanum. To settle

556
00:32:17,470 --> 00:32:21,950
the matter, the powers that be
gave me what they thought was

557
00:32:21,950 --> 00:32:27,419
an impossible quest - find the
Lost Island of Mascal. We were

558
00:32:27,419 --> 00:32:31,049
given a clay tablet that
supposedly had something

559
00:32:31,049 --> 00:32:34,330
to do with Mascal. I’m sure
the Dean just assumed it was

560
00:32:34,330 --> 00:32:37,470
more delusional rantings from
Professor Dunst, or else the

561
00:32:37,470 --> 00:32:41,261
Dean would have never given
it to us in the first place. We

562
00:32:41,261 --> 00:32:44,929
also thought the tablet was
useless until Henry noticed

563
00:32:44,929 --> 00:32:49,179
something. The tablet had
hidden markings on it in a

564
00:32:49,179 --> 00:32:54,279
language that, as far as I know,
I’m the only one who can read.

565
00:32:54,279 --> 00:32:57,049
A language I don’t
remember learning.

566
00:32:57,049 --> 00:32:59,059
IZZY: Huh?
GARETH: When the fisherman

567
00:32:59,059 --> 00:33:02,760
found me in my lifeboat, I
knew my name and how old

568
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:07,179
I was, but nothing else.
My memory was a complete

569
00:33:07,179 --> 00:33:11,550
blank. To make matters even
worse, I spoke in a language

570
00:33:11,550 --> 00:33:15,770
that no one had ever heard
before. Luckily, I picked up

571
00:33:15,770 --> 00:33:20,220
the Trade language incredibly
fast, and I was able to tell the

572
00:33:20,220 --> 00:33:25,210
orphanage workers my name
after only a week. A small part

573
00:33:25,210 --> 00:33:28,000
of me wants to complete this
quest just so I can rub the

574
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,070
University Arcanum’s noses in
it before I tell them I would

575
00:33:31,070 --> 00:33:35,679
rather kiss a rabid badger than
ever teach for them again. The

576
00:33:35,679 --> 00:33:39,910
rest of me is hoping I can find
out more about where I came

577
00:33:39,910 --> 00:33:45,820
from… and what I am.
IZZY: What do you mean

578
00:33:45,820 --> 00:33:48,399
what you are?
GARETH: I always thought I was

579
00:33:48,399 --> 00:33:52,330
some sort of mutant, a person
with a genetic abnormality.

580
00:33:52,330 --> 00:33:57,990
But now I’m not so sure.
IZZY: Alright, out with it.

581
00:33:57,990 --> 00:34:01,580
Were you born with a center
mouth like an Ur, or seven

582
00:34:01,580 --> 00:34:06,799
toes on each foot? What I can
see looks like grade ‘A’ human

583
00:34:06,799 --> 00:34:08,720
stock to me.
GARETH: Do you remember the

584
00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:11,590
statues in the altar room?
IZZY: Hard to forget when you

585
00:34:11,590 --> 00:34:15,710
were so mesmerized by them.
GARETH: It’s more than just a

586
00:34:15,710 --> 00:34:20,070
mysterious language that ties
me to this puzzle now. Look, if I

587
00:34:20,070 --> 00:34:22,470
brush my hair back
like this, you can see

588
00:34:22,470 --> 00:34:25,740
what I’m talking about.
IZZY: Your ears, they’re pointed

589
00:34:25,740 --> 00:34:30,960
like the ones on those statues.
Other than the ears, anything

590
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,679
else different from us
run of the mill humans?

591
00:34:34,679 --> 00:34:38,639
GARETH: Not that Tralnis and
I could find. My insides might

592
00:34:38,639 --> 00:34:42,500
be different, but without
cutting me open, we’ll never

593
00:34:42,500 --> 00:34:46,179
know. And I’m not too keen
on being cut open.

594
00:34:46,179 --> 00:34:50,580
IZZY: Can I touch them?
Your ears I mean.

595
00:34:50,580 --> 00:34:53,220
GARETH: [chuckle] Sure.
IZZY:They’re soft

596
00:34:53,220 --> 00:34:57,760
just like a human’s. I wonder
if your lips are just as soft.

597
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,710
GARETH: I can think of a
few ways you can find out.

598
00:35:01,710 --> 00:35:03,619
TRALNIS: [clears throat
/record stop]

599
00:35:03,619 --> 00:35:06,830
TRALNIS: Sorry to interrupt,
but I thought you might want

600
00:35:06,830 --> 00:35:10,160
to know that the Captain and
I have come to an agreement.

601
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,480
I had to turn over half of our
share of the figurines to get

602
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,260
her to see things
our way though.

603
00:35:15,260 --> 00:35:18,490
IZZY: That doesn’t sound like
Lizard Breath. She would

604
00:35:18,490 --> 00:35:20,740
normally have fought you
well into the morning.

605
00:35:20,740 --> 00:35:24,390
TRALNIS: There’s the distinct
possibility that I might have

606
00:35:24,390 --> 00:35:28,839
played dirty. I reminded her
that if Gareth and I go, Henry

607
00:35:28,839 --> 00:35:32,329
leaves with us. I don’t think
she was willing to give up his

608
00:35:32,329 --> 00:35:36,109
cooking quite yet.
IZZY: That is playing dirty.

609
00:35:36,109 --> 00:35:39,500
If we lost Henry and had to
hire Egite back, I would

610
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:42,650
probably jump ship, no matter
how high up we were flying.

611
00:35:42,650 --> 00:35:45,869
TRALNIS: We’ll be stopping
at St. Mareen to sell the loot

612
00:35:45,869 --> 00:35:50,420
and pick up supplies. Or at
least you lot will. I plan on

613
00:35:50,420 --> 00:35:53,750
kissing the ground as soon
we land, and then getting piss

614
00:35:53,750 --> 00:35:59,180
drunk after spending so
much time over the water.

615
00:35:59,180 --> 00:36:04,140
[outro music]

616
00:36:04,140 --> 00:36:10,430
This has been Gareth and
the Lost Island. Episode 5

617
00:36:10,430 --> 00:36:11,819
Starring:

618
00:36:11,819 --> 00:36:15,936
Peter McGiffen as the
Narrator and Henry’s translator

619
00:36:15,936 --> 00:36:19,801
Allen Pettey as Tralnis Granitestaff

620
00:36:19,801 --> 00:36:23,329
Patrick Mallard as Gareth Mintel

621
00:36:23,329 --> 00:36:25,890
Debra Mallard as Izzy Morgana

622
00:36:25,890 --> 00:36:31,260
Lauren Kong as Elizabeth Morgana

623
00:36:31,260 --> 00:36:34,490
Daniel Fore as Sheldon’s Left Eyestalk

624
00:36:34,490 --> 00:36:39,040
O J V A as Sheldon’s Right Eyestalk

625
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:43,697
Kayce Swan as Pilot

626
00:36:43,697 --> 00:36:45,663
Featuring:

627
00:36:45,663 --> 00:36:51,529
Alex Vancil, Peter McGiffen,
Patrick Mallard, Derek Fein,

628
00:36:51,529 --> 00:36:55,900
and O J V A as the Pirates

629
00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:59,450
Venomous Duck Media wishes
to apologize to skeletons for

630
00:36:59,450 --> 00:37:03,160
calling them skinny bitches.
That said, as skeletons you

631
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,059
still have teeth, would it
kill you to eat a biscuit?

632
00:37:06,059 --> 00:37:08,792
Gareth and the Lost Island
was written

633
00:37:08,792 --> 00:37:14,450
and directed by
Patrick Mallard