Episode 8 - The Jungles of Chimia - Part II Transcript

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,976
[VDM Logo music]
Quack-quack-hiss

2
00:00:07,976 --> 00:00:11,480
NARRATOR: Venomous
Duck Media presents,

3
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,360
Gareth and the Lost Island.

4
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:20,609
Episode 8 -
The Jungles of Chimia - Part II

5
00:00:20,609 --> 00:00:25,570
Disclaimer: This audio drama
should be considered rated

6
00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:30,470
PG-13 for discussions
of sexual hijinks,

7
00:00:30,470 --> 00:00:33,780
drinking, consuming
questionable potions,

8
00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:37,160
brief moments of violence,
crude language,

9
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,920
and even cruder humor.
Please use caution

10
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:46,960
when listening in public, as this
story may cause audible laughter.

11
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:52,199
Venomous Duck Media is not liable
for any strained abdominal muscles

12
00:00:52,199 --> 00:00:55,550
you may receive while listening,
or the strange looks you might

13
00:00:55,550 --> 00:00:58,830
get from other commuters.
If laughter persists for more

14
00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:02,845
than four hours, seek
immediate medical attention.

15
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:27,964
[theme]

16
00:01:27,964 --> 00:01:30,967
TRALNIS: There you
go, lad. Are you alright?

17
00:01:30,967 --> 00:01:33,465
PILOT: I am uncertain, short 
Doctor. Perhaps you can help

18
00:01:33,465 --> 00:01:35,899
me determine if I am
hallucinating or not.

19
00:01:35,899 --> 00:01:38,049
Is purple magic crawling
all over the angry looking

20
00:01:38,049 --> 00:01:43,604
professor’s black staff?
[magic crackling]

21
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,604
[magic transportation]   

22
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:49,310
GARETH: What happened?
Where am I?

23
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,579
The sky is black with
only a handful of stars

24
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:57,138
instead of thousands.
Are the stars getting closer?

25
00:01:57,138 --> 00:02:01,761
Wait…those aren’t stars, It's
light surrounding people.

26
00:02:01,761 --> 00:02:05,553
People with ears like
mine, dozens of them.

27
00:02:05,553 --> 00:02:09,155
[Gareth chuckles,
magic sound crescendos]

28
00:02:09,155 --> 00:02:14,610
You! I’ve seen you before,
well at least your statue in

29
00:02:14,610 --> 00:02:17,761
a sunken temple. You're
 the one who I got the rod from

30
00:02:17,761 --> 00:02:19,600
GUARDIAN: Odd.

31
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:25,290
SMITH: Of course, he looks odd,
styles change over the years.

32
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:27,350
Trust me,
I should know.

33
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:30,000
GARETH: Who are you?

34
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,489
SMITH: They call me the Smith,
and you seem to recognize

35
00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:37,760
the one we
call the Guardian.

36
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,280
Ah, but where are my manners?

37
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,768
Congratulations on mastering

38
00:02:43,768 --> 00:02:47,330
the T’shun meditation
techniques, young man.

39
00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:49,379
GARETH: The what?!

40
00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:50,510
Where am I?

41
00:02:50,510 --> 00:02:53,838
SMITH: Perhaps over the years,
the name of the techniques I

42
00:02:53,838 --> 00:02:58,050
developed have come to be
known by something different.

43
00:02:58,050 --> 00:03:01,110
As for where you are,
I would think that would be

44
00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:05,160
fairly obvious considering you
just spent two days fasting

45
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,873
and meditating to get here.

46
00:03:07,873 --> 00:03:09,490
GUARDIAN: Hold, old one.

47
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:14,040
I do not believe he knows
of what you speak.

48
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,228
GARETH: Exactly.

49
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:18,030
I haven’t a clue as to what
you are going on about.

50
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:21,459
And like I said, I don’t
even know where here is.

51
00:03:21,459 --> 00:03:25,498
SMITH: The Void Rod, boy!
You must have meditated and

52
00:03:25,498 --> 00:03:28,269
fasted in order to get
your consciousness to

53
00:03:28,269 --> 00:03:29,950
enter the weapon.

54
00:03:29,950 --> 00:03:30,450
GARETH: Wait a minute!

55
00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:31,800
Are you trying to tell me

56
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,030
we’re inside that black rod?

57
00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:37,560
SMITH: Where else would we be?

58
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:38,690
What did you think the fasting

59
00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:41,200
and meditation was
for in the first place?

60
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:45,200
GUARDIAN: Again, I say hold.
From his answers,

61
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,970
and obvious confusion,
our new brother did not

62
00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:53,069
partake in the usual ceremony
to join with the Void Rod.

63
00:03:53,069 --> 00:03:56,255
SMITH: Then how else
do you explain--

64
00:03:56,255 --> 00:03:59,250
GUARDIAN: What is the last
thing you remember, brother?

65
00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:02,360
GARETH: Izzy! That bastard
is threatening to kill her!

66
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,019
I have to go back
and help her!

67
00:04:05,019 --> 00:04:08,230
SMITH: Hmm, perhaps
righteous anger…

68
00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:11,619
GUARDIAN: Fueled by
the love for another.

69
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:17,769
SMITH: Yes...I suppose that
could work, but it would

70
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:21,870
require truly tremendous
magical powers to do that.

71
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:26,159
I’m talking about magical strength
on the level of the Mintels.

72
00:04:26,159 --> 00:04:31,614
GUARDIAN: You make a very
good point, perhaps instead--

73
00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:34,400
GARETH: My name...
is Gareth Mintel.

74
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,570
SMITH: Well met, my lord!

75
00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:39,250
It makes my old, dead heart

76
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:42,789
swell with pride to know
that one of the Void Rods

77
00:04:42,789 --> 00:04:47,240
I fashioned is being wielded
by a Mintel once again.

78
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:52,970
GUARDIAN: My lord, this
‘Izzy’, is she your life mate?

79
00:04:52,970 --> 00:04:55,567
GARETH: [hesitant] Um…no…

80
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:58,777
GUARDIAN: Is it your desire
that she become so?

81
00:04:58,777 --> 00:05:03,312
GARETH: I…Honestly,
I can’t imagine a future

82
00:05:03,312 --> 00:05:05,751
without Izzy in it.
I want to stand

83
00:05:05,751 --> 00:05:07,940
by her side for
the rest of my life.

84
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,398
GUARDIAN: So be it.

85
00:05:09,398 --> 00:05:10,940
SMITH: You know
what will happen

86
00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:13,293
if you go through
with this, don’t you?

87
00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:16,220
GUARDIAN: Do not try and
stop me, Smith.

88
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:19,027
I swore to protect
the Mintel family

89
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:23,880
in life and beyond. 
This includes their mates.

90
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,080
I will fulfill my oath, old one.

91
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,391
GARETH: What are you
two talking about?

92
00:05:29,391 --> 00:05:31,479
GUARDIAN: I’m going to
give you that which

93
00:05:31,479 --> 00:05:35,051
you will need to save
the next Lady Mintel.

94
00:05:35,051 --> 00:05:38,500
By my own free will,
I give unto thee my

95
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:42,438
strength and knowledge.
May you use them to protect

96
00:05:42,438 --> 00:05:46,554
those whom I no longer can. 
Now prepare yourself, my lord.

97
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:49,389
This will hurt.
[magic crescendos]

98
00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:53,380
GARETH: [screams in pain]
[magic sound stops]

99
00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:56,430
GARETH: What… where did
he go?

100
00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:57,550
What just happened?

101
00:05:57,550 --> 00:06:01,947
SMITH: All that he was
now resides within you.

102
00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:06,539
You have been given a
great gift, young Lord Mintel.

103
00:06:06,539 --> 00:06:10,421
One that very few of our people
have ever been granted.

104
00:06:10,421 --> 00:06:15,300
Use it well... and kick those feces
extruding orifices threatening

105
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:19,500
the future Lady Mintel straight
to the lowest level of the hells!

106
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:22,580
GARETH: Everything
is starting to fade away.

107
00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:26,990
Wait! Before you go,
tell me, what are we?

108
00:06:26,990 --> 00:06:32,152
SMITH: [ voice receding] Those
who wield a Void Rod, of course.

109
00:06:32,152 --> 00:06:38,632
[magic transition]
[magic crackling]

110
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:42,641
GARETH: I’m back,
 and that scaled

111
00:06:42,641 --> 00:06:45,889
son of a politician is
still threatening Izzy!

112
00:06:45,889 --> 00:06:48,226
GUARDIAN: [internal dialogue]
To save her, let the magic of the

113
00:06:48,226 --> 00:06:50,868
Void Rod guide you.

114
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,584
GARETH: (whisper) For Izzy.

115
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:54,030
[magic crackling intensifies]

116
00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:56,990
TRALNIS: Wait!
Gareth, what are you doing?

117
00:06:56,990 --> 00:07:00,810
Get down from the railing,
you’ll never survive a fall to the

118
00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:04,220
deck of the slaver airship
from this far above it.

119
00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:08,035
Gareth, no!
Don’t! GARETH!!!

120
00:07:08,035 --> 00:07:10,364
[falling, impact 
on deck below]

121
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:13,645
SCALED ONE: [internal dialogue] 
What the hells?

122
00:07:13,645 --> 00:07:16,355
How did he survive
that drop?

123
00:07:16,355 --> 00:07:21,699
His…his eyes are
glowing purple, and he’s wielding

124
00:07:21,699 --> 00:07:24,090
a black staff!

125
00:07:24,090 --> 00:07:27,280
No, it can’t be.

126
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:32,641
Those were just legends
to scare hatchlings.

127
00:07:32,641 --> 00:07:35,389
GARETH: Gentlemen,
who wants to go first?

128
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:40,000
SLAVER 1: I ain’t afraid of
no silly glowing eyes.

129
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,663
I’ll gut you boy.

130
00:07:41,663 --> 00:07:42,629
[swish, thump, 
body falls]

131
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,300
GARETH: Who's next.

132
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:48,960
SCALED ONE: Don’t just stand
there you fools, kill him!

133
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:58,195
[fight sounds,
pirates dying]

134
00:07:58,195 --> 00:08:00,389
ELIZABETH: I don’t know how
the Professor did that jump,

135
00:08:00,389 --> 00:08:02,910
but I’ll be damned if I let him
fight to save Izzy alone!

136
00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:04,949
Henry, tie the rope from the

137
00:08:04,949 --> 00:08:07,615
harpoon gun we salvaged
to the top of the wheelhouse.

138
00:08:07,615 --> 00:08:09,169
[rope tying]

139
00:08:09,169 --> 00:08:13,039
ELIZABETH: [internal dialogue] Okay, 
Liz, take careful aim and resist the

140
00:08:13,039 --> 00:08:18,434
urge to shoot the Professor, he
is helping to save Izzy after all.

141
00:08:18,434 --> 00:08:22,063
[harpoon cannon fire, rope
uncoiling, wood impact]

142
00:08:22,063 --> 00:08:24,252
ELIZABETH: [internal dialogue] Throw
mechanical arm up

143
00:08:24,252 --> 00:08:26,407
 over the rope, and jump!

144
00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:27,457
[zipline]

145
00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:28,621
ELIZABETH: Woohoo!

146
00:08:28,621 --> 00:08:30,959
[lands on deck,
draws sword]

147
00:08:30,959 --> 00:08:34,029
SLAVER 2: First, a crazed guy
with glowing eyes

148
00:08:34,029 --> 00:08:36,930
jumps onto the ship,
and now a hideously

149
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:41,090
disfigured chick with a
mechanical arm drops down too.

150
00:08:41,090 --> 00:08:43,909
I should have listened to Ma,
and got a good job

151
00:08:43,909 --> 00:08:45,453
mucking stables.

152
00:08:45,453 --> 00:08:47,796
[death groan]

153
00:08:47,796 --> 00:08:50,911
ELIZABETH: Mothers
usually know best.

154
00:08:50,911 --> 00:08:52,043
[runs pirate through]
[fighting noises, pirates dying]

155
00:08:52,043 --> 00:08:53,500
GARETH: Yield,
and I’ll let you live.

156
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:57,532
SCALED ONE: I have
a better offer. Kill them,

157
00:08:57,532 --> 00:09:03,090
and you’ll get your pick
of the next slave harvest.

158
00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:07,422
SLAVER 4: Now that's
what I like to hear.

159
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,250
I broke me last slave after
I tied her to the cannon and…

160
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,678
[swish, crack, thump]
[death grunt]

161
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:15,140
SCALED ONE: [internal dialogue]
It’s just like the stories from

162
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:17,959
before the Second
Great Apocalypse.

163
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:22,023
A demon with glowing,
purple eyes that can

164
00:09:22,023 --> 00:09:26,505
wipe out an entire raiding
party single handedly.

165
00:09:26,505 --> 00:09:27,850
SWORD MASTER: Nice form, girl.

166
00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:29,260
Could be better though.

167
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,740
ELIZABETH: Oh please,
if you’re so good,

168
00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:33,624
then step forward
and prove it.

169
00:09:33,624 --> 00:09:36,130
SWORD MASTER: Gladly.
Who knows,

170
00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:39,146
you might be good enough
to make me break a sweat.

171
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:42,810
[draws sword,
sword fighting]

172
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:45,380
ELIZABETH: [internal dialogue]
Well… shit.

173
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:48,160
He’s actually as
good as he says.

174
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:52,672
I recognize his style, and
I won’t be able to beat him.

175
00:09:52,672 --> 00:09:53,820
Time to do something
that would give my

176
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,540
old fencing instructor
a stroke.

177
00:09:56,540 --> 00:10:02,460
Lay the trap by lowering my
sword for a strong upward swing,

178
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:06,260
leaving myself completely
open for an overhead slash.

179
00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:11,990
SWORD MASTER: Tsk-tsk, never
drop your guard like that.

180
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:14,640
Too bad you won’t live to
learn from your mistake.

181
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,607
[exertion grunt]
[metal clang]

182
00:10:17,607 --> 00:10:19,630
SWORD MASTER:
What? How?

183
00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:21,709
ELIZABETH: Metal hand,
obviously.

184
00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:23,320
SWORD MASTER:
Let go of my sword,

185
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,690
you bitch! You’re
going to scratch it!

186
00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:29,497
ELIZABETH: That’s what
you’re worried about? Moron

187
00:10:29,497 --> 00:10:33,448
SWORD MASTER:
My arm! You cut off my arm!

188
00:10:33,448 --> 00:10:36,110
SLAVER 1: Oh gods, that’s
a head!

189
00:10:36,110 --> 00:10:37,880
I didn't sign up for this!

190
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,000
SCALED ONE: Watch out
for the railing, you fool!

191
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,276
[wood creak,
wilhelm scream]

192
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:46,227
SCALED ONE: [sigh]
Never mind.

193
00:10:46,227 --> 00:10:48,890
ELIZABETH: You’ve no crew
left to stop us.

194
00:10:48,890 --> 00:10:51,690
Let my sister go,
or I’ll see what

195
00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:54,260
our chef can do
with fresh lizard meat.

196
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:58,470
SCALED ONE: You’ll have to cut
through her first to get to me

197
00:10:58,470 --> 00:11:00,470
IZZY: (thinking)
Finally! I’ve been waiting

198
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:04,453
all this time for him to pull
me close to him as a shield.

199
00:11:04,453 --> 00:11:07,500
Okay, now just like
Captain Dunning taught us.

200
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,720
Go weak in the knees,
drop my weight,

201
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,980
and pull him forward
to keep a hold of me.

202
00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:13,980
SCALED ONE: Wha?

203
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:18,262
IZZY: (thinking) And
stand up explosively!

204
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,670
(outloud) That was for Pilot!

205
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:21,490
(thinking) Follow up with a kick

206
00:11:21,490 --> 00:11:23,580
through the knee to
drop him to the ground.

207
00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:26,470
[bone breaks, Scaled
One screaming]

208
00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:29,290
That was for me…
and this is for Teesh!

209
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:31,230
(thinking) End with
a kick to the head.

210
00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:32,670
[kick, thump]

211
00:11:32,670 --> 00:11:34,215
ELIZABETH: Nice
moves, sis!

212
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,170
Turn around so I can
cut your ropes.

213
00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:37,430
IZZY: Thanks!

214
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:40,219
Gareth,
why are your eyes glowing?

215
00:11:40,219 --> 00:11:43,172
Oh good, they’re going
back to normal now.

216
00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:44,930
I love your eyes.

217
00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:48,890
Now I just need to decide
who to hug first, you or Liz.

218
00:11:48,890 --> 00:11:54,334
GARETH: Huh…what?
I… oh gods,

219
00:11:54,334 --> 00:12:00,730
those men…what did I…
[running, vomiting]

220
00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:01,470
ELIZABETH: Well, I guess that

221
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:05,687
makes your decision
easier. Come here sis.

222
00:12:05,687 --> 00:12:11,079
[scene change music]
[love theme starts]

223
00:12:11,079 --> 00:12:14,240
IZZY: Gareth, I’ve been
looking for you all over the

224
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:18,117
Glorious Dawn. I should have
known you would be

225
00:12:18,117 --> 00:12:21,060
here sitting next to our cannon.
Perhaps, we should just

226
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:24,345
hang a plaque that reads
‘Gareth’s Brooding Spot.’

227
00:12:24,345 --> 00:12:26,889
GARETH: Looking for me?
How can you even stand

228
00:12:26,889 --> 00:12:30,079
to be near me after you saw
what I did to those slavers?

229
00:12:30,079 --> 00:12:32,982
[slap]
GARETH: Owe! What was that for?!

230
00:12:32,982 --> 00:12:36,149
IZZY: Now that I have your
undivided attention,

231
00:12:36,149 --> 00:12:39,220
I’ll answer your question
with one of my own.

232
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:42,510
Why wouldn’t I want to
spend time with you.

233
00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:45,138
You jumped off one airship
and onto another

234
00:12:45,138 --> 00:12:48,343
that was full of slavers
to save my life

235
00:12:48,343 --> 00:12:52,154
No, don’t turn away, 
look at me, please.

236
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:55,800
When we find Teesh, and there
are more of those bastards

237
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,690
between her and us, will
you let them hurt her

238
00:12:59,690 --> 00:13:02,380
or will you destroy them
like you did earlier?

239
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:06,079
Keep in mind that
those assholes are only

240
00:13:06,079 --> 00:13:08,930
going to give you
these two options.

241
00:13:08,930 --> 00:13:11,540
GARETH: I’ll kill every damn
one of them with my bare hands

242
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,220
if it means keeping
you two safe.

243
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:15,710
That’s what is bothering
me so much.

244
00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:18,100
I feel horrible
about what I did,

245
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:21,571
but I know I would do
it again without hesitation.

246
00:13:21,571 --> 00:13:23,460
IZZY: And that
Professor,

247
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:27,010
is one of the many
reasons why I fancy you.

248
00:13:27,010 --> 00:13:30,603
That, and your
adorable rear end.

249
00:13:30,603 --> 00:13:32,340
GARETH: Really?

250
00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:34,597
IZZY: (chuckles) Quit
turning around like that

251
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:36,475
trying to see
your own butt.

252
00:13:36,475 --> 00:13:38,737
You’re going to 
make yourself dizzy.

253
00:13:38,737 --> 00:13:41,000
GARETH: True.
For the record,

254
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,690
I’m quite fond of
your derriere as well.

255
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,993
IZZY: Is that so?

256
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,944
GARETH: Yes, ma'am.

257
00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:48,955
[romantic music stops
with a record screech]

258
00:13:48,955 --> 00:13:53,662
TRALNIS: Mythical gods above and
below, I have terrible timing!

259
00:13:53,662 --> 00:13:55,793
IZZY: Yes…
yes you do!

260
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,279
TRALNIS: Sorry
you two, but the captain

261
00:13:58,279 --> 00:14:00,430
wants to see us in her
ready room to come

262
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:03,450
up with a plan before we
interrogate our prisoner.

263
00:14:03,450 --> 00:14:04,650
IZZY: Raincheck?

264
00:14:04,650 --> 00:14:06,630
GARETH: Most
definitely, my lady.

265
00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:09,279
TRALNIS: Come on
you two lovebirds.

266
00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:10,649
Gareth?

267
00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:11,690
We need to hurry.

268
00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:15,240
I don’t want Captain Scary
to be mad at me.

269
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,420
GARETH: Tralnis, head back,
and tell Elizabeth

270
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:18,970
to meet us in
the galley instead.

271
00:14:18,970 --> 00:14:22,600
I have an idea, but we’ll need
Henry’s help to pull it off.

272
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,650
TRALNIS: I know that
gleam in your eyes, lad.

273
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:27,060
This is going to be good.

274
00:14:27,060 --> 00:14:29,210
I’ll meet you two
in the galley.

275
00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:32,680
IZZY: What are
we waiting for?

276
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,040
I can’t wait to hear
what you came up with.

277
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,550
[footsteps down stairs]

278
00:14:36,550 --> 00:14:38,570
ELIZABETH: This better
be good, Professor!

279
00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:40,139
GARETH: Henry,
how would you

280
00:14:40,139 --> 00:14:42,820
and Chompers like to help
interrogate the Scaled One?

281
00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:46,600
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Heh, heh, excellent!

282
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,860
GARETH: Good.

283
00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:50,721
Grab Chompers,
that meat turning fork, those

284
00:14:50,721 --> 00:14:56,399
melon ballers, a corkscrew,
and…that press thing over there.

285
00:14:56,399 --> 00:14:57,880
What is
that for anyway?

286
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:01,078
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
It’s called a garlic press.

287
00:15:01,078 --> 00:15:02,640
GARETH: Garlic press?

288
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,519
Huh, learn something
new every day.

289
00:15:04,519 --> 00:15:07,410
Tralnis, we'll also need your
spare medical bag.

290
00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:08,490
TRALNIS: Done.

291
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:11,570
GARETH: Next we need
to move the galley table into

292
00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:14,190
the cargo hold, and
figure out how to make

293
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:17,080
and then rig up some
restraints to attach to it.

294
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,080
IZZY: No need.

295
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,191
I have a set
of restraints in my cabin.

296
00:15:20,191 --> 00:15:22,477
GARETH: You do? Why?

297
00:15:22,477 --> 00:15:26,453
IZZY:They’re for…
um… reasons.

298
00:15:26,453 --> 00:15:31,370
Play your cards right, Professor,
and you’ll find out those reasons.

299
00:15:31,370 --> 00:15:37,017
[scene change music]

300
00:15:37,017 --> 00:15:40,000
SCALED ONE: Why
am I in this pathetic

301
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,124
cargo hold?
Untie me, Dwarf!

302
00:15:43,124 --> 00:15:46,829
TRALNIS: [muttering] Why the
hells did I bother patching this

303
00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:50,970
poor sod up just for them
to undo all my hard work?

304
00:15:50,970 --> 00:15:52,140
[door opens]

305
00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:53,890
SCALED ONE:(thinking)
Shit!

306
00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:56,220
It’s the purple demon,

307
00:15:56,220 --> 00:16:00,300
the mechanical devil,
and the red-haired warrior.

308
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:03,930
What the hells are they
planning on doing to me?

309
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:07,391
They even brought a Chim with
a doctor’s bag who looks

310
00:16:07,391 --> 00:16:10,580
like the Winter Solstice
Holiday came early.

311
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:14,780
TRALNIS: Captain, I must
formally object to what you

312
00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:19,050
are planning. As the ship's
surgeon, this man is now my

313
00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:24,110
patient, and I am bound by my
oath as a healer to do no harm.

314
00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:28,279
ELIZABETH: You are dismissed
for the next hour or so, Doctor.

315
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,380
After that, depending on what
the prisoner is willing

316
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:34,600
to tell us, we may
have need of you again.

317
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,470
That is of course
if he lives.

318
00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:38,690
TRALNIS: Right…
sorry mate,

319
00:16:38,690 --> 00:16:41,200
she scares the living hells
out of me.

320
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,449
You’re on your own.

321
00:16:42,449 --> 00:16:44,810
[footsteps receding,
Tralnis snickers]

322
00:16:44,810 --> 00:16:46,399
ELIZABETH: Henry,
please check and

323
00:16:46,399 --> 00:16:48,670
make sure the restraints
won’t get too tight.

324
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:52,638
What happened last
time was… distasteful.

325
00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:56,219
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR: You
should have used the safe word then.

326
00:16:56,219 --> 00:16:58,220
GARETH: Captain,
I’m going to pull up a chair

327
00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:01,060
and chat with our new
friend while he does that.

328
00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:02,720
[chair scraping]

329
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,490
GARETH: Hello, my name
is Professor Mintel.

330
00:17:05,490 --> 00:17:09,585
SCALED ONE: What do you want,
you hairless Chim?!

331
00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:12,699
GARETH: What I want is to give
you two options.

332
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:16,725
The first is to cooperate and
tell me what I want to know.

333
00:17:16,725 --> 00:17:21,480
The second is for you to not
cooperate, and force me

334
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,990
to let my friend over there
play with you for a while.

335
00:17:23,990 --> 00:17:25,210
If you choose
the second option,

336
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,490
you will be begging to
tell us everything

337
00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:29,100
you know in order
to make him stop.

338
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:32,960
SCALED ONE: Is that it?
Am I supposed

339
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,929
to be scared of
a hairless Chim

340
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:40,000
threatening to turn me over
to his hairy cousin?

341
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,530
Let me go now,
and I’ll make sure you're

342
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:47,059
all sold somewhere other
than an Aetherium mine.

343
00:17:47,059 --> 00:17:50,350
GARETH: To be fair, and help
you make an informed decision,

344
00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:54,289
I should probably tell you a
little bit about my friend.

345
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:58,030
Henry is a free Chim
born on IRD soil.

346
00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,780
His parents, however,
were a different story.

347
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,710
They were both former
slaves who managed to escape

348
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:05,530
from the labor
camps near Skirth.

349
00:18:05,530 --> 00:18:08,419
They died early in Henry’s
life from the abuse

350
00:18:08,419 --> 00:18:10,590
they received at the
hands of your kind,

351
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,679
but not before telling him
every single horror story

352
00:18:13,679 --> 00:18:15,970
of their time
as slaves.

353
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,919
Those stories led Henry
to acquire a hobby

354
00:18:17,919 --> 00:18:21,080
that would be seen
as odd at best,

355
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,990
and revolting at worst,
in polite society.

356
00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:28,356
SCALED ONE: What… he
picks lice off of non-Chims?

357
00:18:28,356 --> 00:18:30,750
GARETH: Nothing like
that, I’m afraid.

358
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:35,420
You see, Henry likes
to torture Scaled Ones.

359
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:38,050
I know as his friend I
should try to discourage him,

360
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:42,960
but there’s a sick sort of beauty
watching an artist like him work.

361
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,780
I mean, just look at the loving
way he lays outs his tools.

362
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:50,460
[Henry hums Swedish
Chef song to himself]

363
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:51,680
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Ouch!

364
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,840
GARETH: Henry, when
are you going to learn to

365
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,758
trust yourself when it comes
to sharpening your tools?

366
00:18:56,758 --> 00:18:59,020
You poke your finger
every time.

367
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:03,190
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Let’s do the melon baller gag next.

368
00:19:03,190 --> 00:19:05,220
GARETH: He wants
me to ask if you know

369
00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:06,700
what size eyeballs
you have?

370
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,880
SCALED ONE: He what?!

371
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:12,195
GARETH: Henry, I don’t think he knows
the international eyeball sizes.

372
00:19:12,195 --> 00:19:14,000
Just use the smallest
scoop and

373
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,919
work your way up to
one that fits the best.

374
00:19:16,919 --> 00:19:20,059
Oh, Mr. Slaver Captain, what’s
the highest note

375
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,667
you can reach
when singing?

376
00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:24,490
Whatever it is, after Henry
uses that press,

377
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:27,130
it will most likely be higher.

378
00:19:27,130 --> 00:19:28,390
[grunting]
[Chompers clacking]

379
00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:30,000
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Stay.

380
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,234
(Chompers clacking)
Stay!

381
00:19:31,234 --> 00:19:34,514
(Chompers one clack)
Good boy.

382
00:19:34,514 --> 00:19:38,059
SCALED ONE: What in
the 34 layers of hells is that?!

383
00:19:38,059 --> 00:19:40,510
GARETH: That old thing?

384
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,120
It’s just the possessed skull

385
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,341
of a temple guard who died
sometime around the

386
00:19:44,341 --> 00:19:46,080
Second Great Apocalypse.

387
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,370
Henry named it Chompers.

388
00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:53,180
You can probably guess what
he uses it for on Scaled Ones.

389
00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:57,210
Like I said, you can either
speak with me now, or…

390
00:19:57,210 --> 00:20:01,860
Henry can get his play time in,
and then you’ll speak with me.

391
00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:04,650
You have my word that
if you cooperate,

392
00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:06,159
I won’t let Henry
near you.

393
00:20:06,159 --> 00:20:08,390
SCALED ONE: What do
you want to know?

394
00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:10,150
GARETH: Let’s start with
what you lot did with

395
00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:12,049
the human child who
was aboard this ship.

396
00:20:12,049 --> 00:20:14,845
SCALED ONE: I knew
we could get a heavy purse

397
00:20:14,845 --> 00:20:18,532
from selling the girl, unlike
the rest of your crew.

398
00:20:18,532 --> 00:20:22,000
Um…no offense to the pretty
redhead who ruined my knee.

399
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,552
I want to keep the
other one intact.

400
00:20:24,552 --> 00:20:26,509
GARETH: Focus.

401
00:20:26,509 --> 00:20:28,724
Where is the girl now?

402
00:20:28,724 --> 00:20:31,370
SCALED ONE: The next
shipment of slaves out of

403
00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:37,669
Chimia isn’t due for another
month, so she’ll be at our camp.

404
00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:41,580
Considering it’s our headquarters
for operations in Chimia,

405
00:20:41,580 --> 00:20:46,080
you should probably just write
her off as a loss and move on.

406
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,410
There’s no way you’ll get
out of the camp alive,

407
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:52,490
even if you do manage to
figure out a way inside the

408
00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:56,700
most heavily defended outpost
this side of the Sacred Sands.

409
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,850
ELIZABETH: And
why is that?

410
00:20:58,850 --> 00:21:04,420
SCALED ONE: The camp is in a
box canyon with only one way in.

411
00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:08,707
It’s guarded by sentries with
rifles covering the entrance,

412
00:21:08,707 --> 00:21:11,480
and three of our
dirigibles are moored

413
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,779
to the cliff sides above
the camp.

414
00:21:13,779 --> 00:21:17,440
The sentries will shoot anyone
without the proper password,

415
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,809
and the airships will decimate
any airship other than ours

416
00:21:20,809 --> 00:21:25,020
that are foolhardy enough
to fly into a blind canyon.

417
00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:28,360
GARETH: Where will they
be keeping the girl?

418
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:32,169
SCALED ONE: She’s probably
being kept in the high value

419
00:21:32,169 --> 00:21:35,190
cages at the rear of the camp.

420
00:21:35,190 --> 00:21:36,490
Not that it will help you.

421
00:21:36,490 --> 00:21:39,120
There’s no way you are
getting in there.

422
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:42,360
GARETH: What’s the password
to get into the camp?

423
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:46,190
SCALED ONE: I don’t think so.

424
00:21:46,190 --> 00:21:48,710
If I give you the password,

425
00:21:48,710 --> 00:21:51,300
you will all get yourself
killed.

426
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,160
I’ll starve to death
on this horrible

427
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,590
excuse for an airship.

428
00:21:57,590 --> 00:22:00,854
GARETH: Henry, make sure
you floss Chompers when

429
00:22:00,854 --> 00:22:04,730
you’re done. Last time, he had a bit of
Scaled One stuck in his molars

430
00:22:04,730 --> 00:22:07,012
for a week before
any of us noticed it.

431
00:22:07,012 --> 00:22:09,530
SCALED ONE: Wait…wait!
The password is,

432
00:22:09,530 --> 00:22:13,221
‘Lizards rule,
mammals drool.’

433
00:22:13,221 --> 00:22:15,964
ELIZABETH: You’re
kidding, right?

434
00:22:15,964 --> 00:22:19,080
SCALED ONE: It’s not
likely that I’m going to lie

435
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,250
to you knowing the punishment
is being handed over to

436
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:26,000
a psychotic Chim, and
his possessed skull

437
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,700
GARETH: I think he's 
telling the truth.

438
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:30,130
He knows Henry would
let Chompers loose

439
00:22:30,130 --> 00:22:33,110
on his groin if he
lied to us.

440
00:22:33,110 --> 00:22:35,362
[chair scraping]

441
00:22:35,362 --> 00:22:38,020
ELIZABETH: Be glad Professor
Mintel convinced me to be polite.

442
00:22:38,020 --> 00:22:41,870
Had it been my choice,
you would still be facing

443
00:22:41,870 --> 00:22:46,680
‘Happy time with Henry’ with
me handing him his instruments.

444
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,730
Instead, I’m just going to have
you thrown off of my ship.

445
00:22:49,730 --> 00:22:51,539
SCALED ONE: Wait!!

446
00:22:51,539 --> 00:22:53,490
He said
you weren’t going to kill me

447
00:22:53,490 --> 00:22:55,730
if I told you what you
wanted to know!

448
00:22:55,730 --> 00:23:00,120
ELIZABETH: The Professor said
nothing of the sort. He said he

449
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:02,180
wouldn’t turn you over to
our cook if you did what

450
00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:06,010
we asked. Sheldon,
if you would please.

451
00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:12,608
[stomping,
chair sliding]

452
00:23:12,608 --> 00:23:15,640
SCALED ONE: Stop, please!
I’ll give you anything.

453
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:16,850
I have money,

454
00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:20,943
and I can get you a great deal
on some lightly used slaves.

455
00:23:20,943 --> 00:23:21,978
IZZY: Wait, Sheldon!

456
00:23:21,978 --> 00:23:24,371
I really don’t think
we want to toss

457
00:23:24,371 --> 00:23:26,100
one of our chairs
off the ship.

458
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,361
SHELDON [left eye]: It’s
not one of ours. We picked

459
00:23:28,361 --> 00:23:30,590
it up when we emptied
the other ship’s cargo hold.

460
00:23:30,590 --> 00:23:37,248
IZZY: Oh… carry on then.
[chair scraping]

461
00:23:37,248 --> 00:23:40,160
SHELDON: [right eye]: 5 marks
says he bounces at least twice.

462
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,027
SHELDON [left eye]: You’re on.
From this high up, he’ll splatter

463
00:23:43,027 --> 00:23:45,281
as soon as he
hits the ground.

464
00:23:45,281 --> 00:23:48,722
SCALED ONE: No, NO! 
Noooo--

465
00:23:48,722 --> 00:23:52,373
[splash]
SCALED ONE: Huh?

466
00:23:52,373 --> 00:23:55,520
TRALNIS: We’re only
five feet above a swamp,

467
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:59,419
you twat. Unlike you
worthless goat molesters,

468
00:23:59,419 --> 00:24:01,440
we only kill when
we have to.

469
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,179
[loud swamp bubble bursts]

470
00:24:03,179 --> 00:24:05,500
IZZY: (sniffs)
I recognize that smell.

471
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:06,660
GARETH: You do?

472
00:24:06,660 --> 00:24:09,500
IZZY: Of course, any good
engineer would recognize the

473
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:11,270
smell of naphtha.

474
00:24:11,270 --> 00:24:12,710
That gives
me an idea.

475
00:24:12,710 --> 00:24:13,710
I think I know a

476
00:24:13,710 --> 00:24:16,659
way to take care of the
other slaver airships.

477
00:24:16,659 --> 00:24:22,915
[scene change music]

478
00:24:22,915 --> 00:24:27,470
GARETH: Since we’ve been
laying on this boulder

479
00:24:27,470 --> 00:24:32,244
in the rain, I’m soaked to
the bone. How about you?

480
00:24:32,244 --> 00:24:34,390
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Yeah,I’m wetter than Elizabeth

481
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:36,929
at a eunuch making
ceremony.

482
00:24:36,929 --> 00:24:40,410
GARETH: Thanks, now I’ll be
 having nightmares for weeks.

483
00:24:40,410 --> 00:24:42,750
I really don’t want to think
about Captain Morgana

484
00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:45,390
getting wet thinking
about anything.

485
00:24:45,390 --> 00:24:48,000
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR: Wish
there were more of us going.

486
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,027
GARETH: Me too. The
problem is we’ll need

487
00:24:51,027 --> 00:24:52,937
the full crew running the
Glorious Dawn to get us

488
00:24:52,937 --> 00:24:54,907
out of there when we’re
done, and Tralnis will be

489
00:24:54,907 --> 00:24:57,283
needed to handle whatever
casualties we incur.

490
00:24:57,283 --> 00:25:00,110
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Look, the patrol is back.

491
00:25:00,110 --> 00:25:02,659
GARETH: Yep, those poor
bastards patrolling seem

492
00:25:02,659 --> 00:25:03,950
to have a pretty set schedule.

493
00:25:03,950 --> 00:25:04,950
Too bad they don’t seem

494
00:25:04,950 --> 00:25:08,025
to go very far from the only
trail into the canyon.

495
00:25:08,025 --> 00:25:10,938
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR: Any
idea how to take care of them?

496
00:25:10,938 --> 00:25:14,630
GARETH: Yeah, I do, and I think
you’re really going to like this.

497
00:25:14,630 --> 00:25:18,029
WET GUARD 1: No, there’s
no way our Scaled One

498
00:25:18,029 --> 00:25:21,350
commander will ever hear
us making fun of his mother,

499
00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:24,419
you said. Even if he does
hear, it’s not like he’s going

500
00:25:24,419 --> 00:25:27,880
to assign us a month straight
of night patrol duty, you said.

501
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,080
WET GUARD 2: Shut your trap,
I think I see someone.

502
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,600
WET GUARD 1: Where?
Oh, I see him now.

503
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,401
You talking about that guy
standing by the big boulder?

504
00:25:36,401 --> 00:25:38,169
WET GUARD 2: Yeah,
it looks like he’s

505
00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:39,940
waving at us to
get our attention.

506
00:25:39,940 --> 00:25:42,870
GARETH: Hey boys,
look what we got here!

507
00:25:42,870 --> 00:25:46,017
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Where the human women at?

508
00:25:46,017 --> 00:25:47,840
GARETH: [whispers] Quick,
back behind the boulder.

509
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,299
WET GUARD 2: This
is going to be the most

510
00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:52,300
fun we’ve
had all month.

511
00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:53,809
WET GUARD 1: Beats the hells
out of counting raindrops.

512
00:25:53,809 --> 00:25:56,580
Let’s go help teach that
uppity Chim a lesson!

513
00:25:56,580 --> 00:26:03,235
[running in mud, crack,
metal hit, double thumps]

514
00:26:03,235 --> 00:26:06,000
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
That was beautiful.

515
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,700
GARETH: See, I knew
you’d enjoy yourself.

516
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:12,000
Their waxed cloaks even
fit us, more or less.

517
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,981
[walking in mud]

518
00:26:14,981 --> 00:26:19,000
GATE GUARD 1: Sir, it looks
like those two idiots who called

519
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,186
the boss’ mom a mammal
lover are back early.

520
00:26:23,186 --> 00:26:26,100
HEAD GUARD: If they’re
drunk or here to ask to be

521
00:26:26,100 --> 00:26:29,039
let in early again, I’m going
to ask for their sentence to

522
00:26:29,039 --> 00:26:33,980
be doubled. Those…hold up,
one of them looks injured, and

523
00:26:33,980 --> 00:26:36,233
is leaning against
the other for support.

524
00:26:36,233 --> 00:26:39,422
(yelling) What’s
going on down there?

525
00:26:39,422 --> 00:26:41,740
GARETH: Open the bloody
gates!

526
00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:42,740
My partner’s hurt.

527
00:26:42,740 --> 00:26:45,030
HEAD GUARD: You know the
rules!

528
00:26:45,030 --> 00:26:47,070
What’s the password?

529
00:26:47,070 --> 00:26:51,026
GARETH: Lizards rule,
mammals drool.

530
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:54,740
HEAD GUARD: Oh, buggering
shit, that’s an officer’s password!

531
00:26:54,740 --> 00:26:58,160
Their airship must have crashed
somewhere in the jungle.

532
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,760
Sorry, sir! We’ll have
that gate open at once!

533
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,375
What are you doing just
standing there?! Open the

534
00:27:04,375 --> 00:27:07,883
damned gate before I
bury my boot in your ass!

535
00:27:07,883 --> 00:27:11,409
Afterwards, join me below.
[door opens]

536
00:27:11,409 --> 00:27:14,665
HEAD GUARD: Follow
me to the guard shack, sir.

537
00:27:14,665 --> 00:27:16,858
We’ll get you out of
the rain, and see if we

538
00:27:16,858 --> 00:27:18,675
can do anything for
that friend of yours.

539
00:27:18,675 --> 00:27:25,242
[footsteps]

540
00:27:25,242 --> 00:27:27,539
HEAD GUARD: Sir,
I’ll send one of the boys

541
00:27:27,539 --> 00:27:29,990
to let the higher ups
know you’ve returned.

542
00:27:29,990 --> 00:27:31,330
GARETH: NO!

543
00:27:31,330 --> 00:27:32,990
I mean,
thank you for the offer,

544
00:27:32,990 --> 00:27:34,390
but I want to make sure
my friend’s injuries are

545
00:27:34,390 --> 00:27:35,390
seen to first.

546
00:27:35,390 --> 00:27:37,940
Let’s set him
down in that chair over there.

547
00:27:37,940 --> 00:27:40,244
HEAD GUARD: Let me
help you, sir.

548
00:27:40,244 --> 00:27:41,681
(sniffs)

549
00:27:41,681 --> 00:27:46,095
Gods! You smell
like a wet Chim.

550
00:27:46,095 --> 00:27:48,350
GARETH: Funny
you should say that.

551
00:27:48,350 --> 00:27:50,789
GATE GUARD 1:
I don’t get it.

552
00:27:50,789 --> 00:27:53,273
Did I miss the
punchline or something?

553
00:27:53,273 --> 00:27:54,280
GARETH: Talk about
a straight line…

554
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,260
[punch, gate guard grunts,
thuds to ground]]

555
00:27:56,260 --> 00:27:59,045
[Henry grunts, 
frying pan hit, thud]

556
00:27:59,045 --> 00:28:02,210
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR: I don’t
smell that bad when I’m wet, do I?

557
00:28:02,210 --> 00:28:03,650
GARETH: Of course not.

558
00:28:03,650 --> 00:28:07,220
You don’t smell any worse
than normal, that is.

559
00:28:07,220 --> 00:28:09,460
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Thanks… hey, wait.

560
00:28:09,460 --> 00:28:12,230
GARETH: Let’s
tie these two up.

561
00:28:12,230 --> 00:28:15,777
GATE GUARD 2: Sirs, do you
want me to shut the gate, or…

562
00:28:15,777 --> 00:28:18,000
[metal clang, 
thud]

563
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:22,261
GARETH: Nice throw.
I’ll get Mr. Smashy for you.

564
00:28:22,261 --> 00:28:27,710
Eew, it’s covered in blood
and snot.

565
00:28:27,710 --> 00:28:32,120
You don’t use this to cook
 with as well, do you?

566
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:35,828
Now that I think about it, I’m
probably better off not

567
00:28:35,828 --> 00:28:38,720
asking questions I don’t
want answered.

568
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,100
Tell you
what, forget I said anything.

569
00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:46,678
[walking]

570
00:28:46,678 --> 00:28:50,240
GARETH: Adding a bow like
 you find on a present

571
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,720
was a really nice touch on
those guards back there.

572
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:56,318
Like I always say, Henry, you’re
a true artist.

573
00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:59,559
As miserable as this rain is,
at least it’s keeping most

574
00:28:59,559 --> 00:29:01,900
of the slavers inside
the buildings.

575
00:29:01,900 --> 00:29:04,004
[rain stops]

576
00:29:04,004 --> 00:29:07,785
GARETH: Oh, come on. 
Sometimes I think

577
00:29:07,785 --> 00:29:11,000
Fate really enjoys making
things more difficult for me.

578
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:15,616
It’s like I’m just here for
her amusement or something.

579
00:29:15,616 --> 00:29:18,179
Let’s hurry and find some
cover near the slave pens

580
00:29:18,179 --> 00:29:19,404
while we wait for
Izzy’s distraction.

581
00:29:19,404 --> 00:29:22,778
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR: Do
you think her crazy plan will work?

582
00:29:22,778 --> 00:29:24,890
GARETH: Of course, I think her
plan will work.

583
00:29:24,890 --> 00:29:26,970
I have trust in Izzy,

584
00:29:26,970 --> 00:29:31,039
even if I have no idea how
she is going to pull it off.

585
00:29:31,039 --> 00:29:33,320
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:You’re
just saying that because you

586
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,594
want to make wild
ape love to her.

587
00:29:35,594 --> 00:29:39,054
Which as a
Chim, I totally endorse.

588
00:29:39,054 --> 00:29:43,146
GARETH: No, I’m not saying
that just because I fancy her.

589
00:29:43,146 --> 00:29:46,799
Izzy is a brilliant engineer. 
If anyone can figure out

590
00:29:46,799 --> 00:29:49,190
how to pilot two airships
at the same time from a

591
00:29:49,190 --> 00:29:51,590
single wheelhouse,
she can.

592
00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:53,767
[two blasts from
a steam whistle]

593
00:29:53,767 --> 00:29:56,419
GARETH: Look, there’s the
slaver dirigible towing

594
00:29:56,419 --> 00:29:57,960
the Glorious
Dawn now.

595
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:02,000
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in the
wheelhouse of the Glorious Dawn.

596
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,470
ELIZABETH: Let me use
my mirror again to check

597
00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:10,730
our heading. Turn about four
more degrees to starboard.

598
00:30:10,730 --> 00:30:13,140
PILOT: Captain of the Glorious
Dawn, remind me the next time

599
00:30:13,140 --> 00:30:15,340
your sister the engineer
tells me to trust her,

600
00:30:15,340 --> 00:30:17,190
I should ask
more questions.

601
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:21,080
ELIZABETH: Sure, hiding
below the wheelhouse walls

602
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,940
while steering another ship
via some kind of bastardized

603
00:30:23,940 --> 00:30:27,350
marionette system isn’t all
it’s cracked up to be, but

604
00:30:27,350 --> 00:30:30,780
come on Pilot, after this,
your people can refer to you as

605
00:30:30,780 --> 00:30:36,140
…the pilot who flew two
airships at one time.

606
00:30:36,140 --> 00:30:39,570
PILOT: Technically, Captain
of the Glorious Dawn, I am

607
00:30:39,570 --> 00:30:41,470
only flying one ship
at the moment.

608
00:30:41,470 --> 00:30:43,640
We're being towed
by the dirigible.

609
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,590
ELIZABETH: Killjoy.

610
00:30:45,590 --> 00:30:46,860
Just standby on the

611
00:30:46,860 --> 00:30:49,059
throttle, we’re almost there.

612
00:30:49,059 --> 00:30:52,870
Izzy, we’re almost in range

613
00:30:52,870 --> 00:30:55,223
Pilot is making the final
course adjustments.

614
00:30:55,223 --> 00:30:59,226
IZZY: Got it, Elizabeth. 
I’m pulling the string to

615
00:30:59,226 --> 00:31:03,967
start up the fireworks…
now! I really hope that match I

616
00:31:03,967 --> 00:31:07,396
glued to the slaver’s steam
gauge stayed put. Once the

617
00:31:07,396 --> 00:31:10,368
engine reaches full steam,
it should cause the gauge

618
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:14,008
to strike the match. 
Then, it will light the fuse

619
00:31:14,008 --> 00:31:16,435
we ran to their powder
magazine and the 

620
00:31:16,435 --> 00:31:18,999
barrels of naphtha that we
set up on their deck.

621
00:31:18,999 --> 00:31:22,100
ELIZABETH: I hope
so too, otherwise this

622
00:31:22,100 --> 00:31:24,700
is going to be a really
short rescue mission.

623
00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:28,070
Okay, Pilot, pull the
string for their throttle.

624
00:31:28,070 --> 00:31:34,930
Their dirigible is going to run
 into the other slaver

625
00:31:34,930 --> 00:31:38,399
airships at full speed.
Time to disconnect us.

626
00:31:38,399 --> 00:31:39,399
[grunts]

627
00:31:39,399 --> 00:31:41,550
PILOT: Captain, if you do
not release the connecting

628
00:31:41,550 --> 00:31:43,550
pin in the next few seconds,
we will not be able to stop

629
00:31:43,550 --> 00:31:45,279
in time from entering
the blast radius.

630
00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:47,090
ELIZABETH: What do
you think I’m trying to do?

631
00:31:47,090 --> 00:31:51,600
The pin’s stuck. Come on,
you son of a politician!

632
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,897
Work damn you!
[pin drops]

633
00:31:54,897 --> 00:31:57,279
ELIZABETH: Izzy, burn some
Aetherium so Pilot can stop us.

634
00:31:57,279 --> 00:31:59,627
We don’t want to drift
right into your surprise!

635
00:31:59,627 --> 00:32:01,941
IZZY: Hey Lizard Breath,
how about you leave the

636
00:32:01,941 --> 00:32:06,270
engineering stuff to me. 
I already have some burning;

637
00:32:06,270 --> 00:32:08,538
Pilot can stop us
whenever you want.

638
00:32:08,538 --> 00:32:11,198
PILOT: Done. Sorry, captain
of the Glorious Dawn, but I

639
00:32:11,198 --> 00:32:13,299
did not feel I should wait for
you to give the actual order.

640
00:32:13,299 --> 00:32:15,460
ELIZABETH: I think I can
overlook it this time.

641
00:32:15,460 --> 00:32:17,580
Let's stand up and
watch our handiwork.

642
00:32:17,580 --> 00:32:23,530
[chaotic shouts, impact of airships,
fiery explosion, airships crashing]

643
00:32:23,530 --> 00:32:26,518
ELIZABETH: And you 
were worried.

644
00:32:26,518 --> 00:32:28,539
Sheldon, come on up, 
and start firing the

645
00:32:28,539 --> 00:32:31,400
cannon into the buildings
farthest from the slave pens.

646
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,552
Let’s sow as much confusion
as we can. Gods know Henry

647
00:32:35,552 --> 00:32:37,870
and the Professor can use
all the help they can get.

648
00:32:37,870 --> 00:32:41,547
NARRATOR: Back on the
ground in the slaver’s camp.

649
00:32:41,547 --> 00:32:45,625
[cannon shot, building
impact, debris falling]

650
00:32:45,625 --> 00:32:50,010
GARETH: That’s our cue. Get
Teesh, I’ll watch your back.

651
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:53,659
SLAVER 6: I’ve never been
more glad to be stationed at

652
00:32:53,659 --> 00:32:58,340
the slave pens. In fact, while
everyone’s distracted, I might

653
00:32:58,340 --> 00:33:01,938
just treat myself with one of
them pretties we’ve got locked…

654
00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:03,057
[grunts]

655
00:33:03,057 --> 00:33:10,943
[Henry grunts and
punches, keyring rattle]

656
00:33:10,943 --> 00:33:16,549
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:[soft
hoot] [louder hoot] Hey!

657
00:33:16,549 --> 00:33:19,210
TEESH: Mr. Fuzzy Bottom?!

658
00:33:19,210 --> 00:33:20,423
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Hey, kiddo.

659
00:33:20,423 --> 00:33:22,874
We’re busting you
out of this joint.

660
00:33:22,874 --> 00:33:29,550
[cage door swings open,
running]

661
00:33:29,550 --> 00:33:30,490
HENRY: Oomph

662
00:33:30,490 --> 00:33:35,445
TEESH: I knew you guys
would come! Gareth!

663
00:33:35,445 --> 00:33:38,512
All the slavers from the barracks
are running right at him!

664
00:33:38,512 --> 00:33:45,086
He doesn’t stand a chance.
Wait… what’s happening to him?

665
00:33:45,086 --> 00:33:47,730
[slavers running]

666
00:33:47,730 --> 00:33:51,910
GARETH: That is a lot
of slavers. Okay, rod,

667
00:33:51,910 --> 00:33:54,605
we probably aren’t going
to get out of this, but let’s

668
00:33:54,605 --> 00:33:56,709
at least try to buy Henry
and Teesh time to get away.

669
00:33:56,709 --> 00:33:57,591
[rod expanding]

670
00:33:57,591 --> 00:33:58,790
GUARDIAN: (in Gareth’s head):
There are too many of them.

671
00:33:58,790 --> 00:34:05,005
You must use the for… Sorry,
wrong story. The only way to

672
00:34:05,005 --> 00:34:08,110
save your friends is to fully
surrender yourself to the magic

673
00:34:08,110 --> 00:34:12,506
of the Void Rod. For what
it’s worth, I’m sorry, Lord Mintel,

674
00:34:12,506 --> 00:34:16,141
no one should have to
do what we’re about to.

675
00:34:16,141 --> 00:34:20,274
[Gareth screams in pain]

676
00:34:20,274 --> 00:34:25,267
GARETH/VOID ROD: Welcome to 
the last moments of your lives.

677
00:34:25,267 --> 00:34:27,735
GRUNT: Gods and their
wizards, he doesn’t have

678
00:34:27,735 --> 00:34:31,306
any eyes, just purple
flames where they should be!

679
00:34:31,306 --> 00:34:39,504
[battle sounds]

680
00:34:39,504 --> 00:34:44,018
TEESH: Seriously, Mr. Fuzzy
Bottom, you’re covering my eyes.

681
00:34:44,018 --> 00:34:46,536
You know where I’m from.

682
00:34:46,536 --> 00:34:50,988
Oh wow, Gareth is tearing
through those losers.

683
00:34:50,988 --> 00:34:55,152
Hit that one again, Gareth,
he was extra creepy!

684
00:34:55,152 --> 00:35:01,950
Oooh, that looks like that
hurt, well not anymore since I’m pretty

685
00:35:01,950 --> 00:35:06,749
sure necks aren’t supposed to
bend like that, but still.

686
00:35:06,749 --> 00:35:11,148
Huh, I've heard older kids
use that phrase, 

687
00:35:11,148 --> 00:35:15,114
but I didn't think it was
anatomically possible.

688
00:35:15,114 --> 00:35:19,980
Yeah, that is never coming out of
Gareth’s clothes.

689
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,593
GRUNT: (thinking)
I don’t know if anyone

690
00:35:24,593 --> 00:35:31,344
else is still alive. At least
30 men dead as easy as

691
00:35:31,344 --> 00:35:43,009
someone slaughtering chickens.
That's not a man, it's a demon!

692
00:35:43,009 --> 00:35:48,208
Shrapnel went through his arm. 
NO blood, just more of that

693
00:35:48,208 --> 00:35:53,673
purple fire, and then the
wound just healed as if he

694
00:35:53,673 --> 00:35:55,573
had never been
injured at all.

695
00:35:55,573 --> 00:36:04,238
I have to find somewhere to
hide before those pools

696
00:36:04,238 --> 00:36:09,970
of purple fire look my way
again. Maybe I can pull myself

697
00:36:09,970 --> 00:36:21,299
over to that pile of debris
before it… oh gods, he sees me.

698
00:36:21,299 --> 00:36:26,867
GARETH/VOID ROD: Who else comes
running to their death?

699
00:36:26,867 --> 00:36:28,773
[ape noises] TRANSLATOR:
Gareth?

700
00:36:28,773 --> 00:36:32,271
[magic recedes]

701
00:36:32,271 --> 00:36:38,431
GARETH: Oh, hi Henry.
[groan]

702
00:36:38,431 --> 00:36:41,630
TEESH: Do you think
I can get Gareth to

703
00:36:41,630 --> 00:36:43,697
teach me how
to do that?

704
00:36:43,697 --> 00:36:49,529
[outro music]

705
00:36:49,529 --> 00:36:53,695
This has been 
Gareth and the Lost Island.

706
00:36:53,695 --> 00:36:57,398
Episode 8
Starring:

707
00:36:57,398 --> 00:37:01,770
Peter McGiffen as the Narrator
 and Henry’s translator

708
00:37:01,770 --> 00:37:05,194
Allen Pettey as
Tralnis Granitestaff

709
00:37:05,194 --> 00:37:07,726
Patrick Mallard as
 Gareth Mintel

710
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:11,903
Debra Mallard as 
Izzy Morgana

711
00:37:11,903 --> 00:37:15,254
Lauren Kong as 
Elizabeth Morgana

712
00:37:15,254 --> 00:37:18,765
Jenna Oliver as 
Teesh

713
00:37:18,765 --> 00:37:23,224
Kayce Swan as 
Pilot

714
00:37:23,224 --> 00:37:26,332
Laurence Sterling Knott as
 the Slaver Captain

715
00:37:26,332 --> 00:37:29,804
Jed Gillamac as the 
Void Guardian

716
00:37:29,804 --> 00:37:33,267
Alex Wood as the 
Void Smith

717
00:37:33,267 --> 00:37:38,042
Tedd Garmon as the 
Sword Master and Head Guard

718
00:37:38,042 --> 00:37:42,713
Daniel Fore as 
Sheldon’s Left Eyestalk

719
00:37:42,713 --> 00:37:50,060
and O J V A as Sheldon’s Right 
Eyestalk and Last Surviving Slaver

720
00:37:50,060 --> 00:37:57,511
Featuring: O J V A, Peter McGiffen, 
and Patrick Mallard as the Slavers

721
00:37:57,511 --> 00:38:01,203
Venomous Duck Media
does not endorse

722
00:38:01,203 --> 00:38:04,505
torturing prisoners for information, 
unless the one performing the torture

723
00:38:04,505 --> 00:38:10,877
is a Chim humming the Swedish Chef 
song. If that’s the case, pass us the popcorn.

724
00:38:10,877 --> 00:38:16,793
Gareth and the Lost Island was written
 and directed by Patrick Mallard.